Top ten signs the Easter Bunny hates you
Posted on April 2nd, 2012 by Bob Sullivan
10. All your chocolate is of the ‘baking’ variety
9. Your Easter eggs have little fuses coming out of them
8. The grass he uses in your Easter basket is from the Dog Park
7. He has “F.U.” shaved into the fur on his back
6. He starts each day by egging your car
5. He told you that Santa wasn’t real
4. He says he wants to cut off your foot to carry around for luck
3. He’s always dissin’ your peeps
2. The eggs hidden on your lawn are six feet deep
1. Those ain’t Raisinets
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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