Following the recent report that over half the dogs in the U.S. are overweight, top ten ways to tell if your dog is too fat

Following the recent report that over half the dogs in the U.S. are overweight, top ten ways to tell if your dog is too fat

Posted on March 19th, 2012 by Bob Sullivan

10. He doesn’t chase cats so much as amble in their general direction

9. Instead of “Lassie” you’ve decided to call her “Assy”

8. Whenever he plays dead, he can’t get up again

7. He has to eat Lipitor-enhanced Friskies

6. His chew toy is a 12-pound ham

5. You finally realized he isn’t barking “Ruff Ruff Ruff” but “Stuffed Crust Pizza”

4. He spends half his time stuck in the doggie door

3. He answers to the name “Chris Christie”

2. Instead of a GPS chip, you just use Google Earth

1. In the evening, you don’t take your dog for a walk; you take him for a roll

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.