Top ten signs you were at a bad Super Bowl party

Top ten signs you were at a bad Super Bowl party

Posted on February 6th, 2012 by Bob Sullivan

10. The television screen was so small, you had to take turns watching

9. Every five minutes, some old guy was yelling, “Where’s Knute Rockne?”

8. You missed most of the first half so the host could tell you all about Scientology

7. Somebody had already licked all the orange dust off the Cheetos

6. No New York Giants fans, no New England Patriots fans, just Beyoncé fans

5. There’s a big screen TV, but it’s stuck on a station showing “Matlock” reruns

4. The guacamole was moving

3. It was held on Saturday so no one would miss church

2. When the host ran out of beer, he started serving NyQuil

1. The only snacks were what you could find under the couch cushions

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.