I have always managed to avoid covering the same story two weeks in a row, but the Penn State story has totally dominated the sports world’s news for the past week, so there is really no way around it. Since I wrote last, many things have happened. Legendary head coach Joe Paterno, assistant coach Mike McQueary, and university president Graham Spanier are all out, along with athletic director Tim Curley and vice president Gary Schultz. As a Penn Stater, this has been a very difficult week for me for a lot of reasons. [Read more →]
10. Yes We Cain!
9. Let’s Stop China Before They Get Nukes!
8. Our Guy’s Blacker Than Your Guy!
7. Obama May Be Able — And We All Know Who Slew Abel!
6. Favorite Politician Of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan!
5. Vote For Me And I’ll Make That Smokin’ Guy VP!
4. I Was Referring To Pizza When I Told Those Women To “Hold The Sausage”!
3. Herman Cain — Very Clintonesque!
2. I Just Love Raisin’ A Little Cain! (Wink Wink)
1. Hands On! And Pants Off!
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
So,the inimitable Ms.Cox twittered last evening to the effect that she couldn’t understand why Jon Huntsman didn’t take his calm demeanor, arched eyebrow and good ideas where they belonged, the Democratic party. After glancing through the results of the Republican foreign policy debate, I tend to agree. These people are deranged. While Mitt Romney can probably be forgiven for feeling confident, it’s sort of like feeling confident about pitching a no-hitter against the Yankees after ecking out a win over St Swithin’s School for the Blind, Lame and Criminally Insane. Although frankly, they couldn’t make the team at St Swithin’s… [Read more →]
A year and a half ago I wrote a piece here with the title “Grandma vs. The SWAT Team“, wherein I outlined an idea I had for generating an “iconic image” for the TEA Party movement, that of a little, old, blue haired lady sharing some cookies with a member of the SWAT team Obama had sent in to surround a TEA Party rally. The idea was prompted by the pictures we were seeing in the news at the time, that of illegal immigrants having semi-violent clashes with the police, and the images featured in the story I was discussing in the post, images of little old ladies standing in front of the line of SWAT officers, smiling, laughing, joking around, and taking pictures, but doing absolutely nothing arrest worthy.
I’ve always thought it a great idea, and pondered over the state of TEA Party PR ever since. I think now is the time to have a serious revisit on the idea.
So anyway, yesterday I was driving down a country road when I spotted a decapitated stag lying in a ditch. The strange thing was that its head had been cleaved neatly from the body, leaving a perfect anatomical cross-section-type view of the interior of the neck. A car accident doesn’t do that – and even if it did, I’d still expect to see the head nearby, surrounded by turkey vultures pecking at the soft parts.
I briefly thought about vivisectionist aliens before settling on a redneck with a chainsaw as the likeliest explanation. No doubt he’d spotted the dead stag during the day then returned under cover of night to remove the “rack” for his collection. [Read more →]
By now you have no doubt heard that according to astronomers and anthropologists, December 21, 2012 correlates to the “end” of the Mayan calendar. And, despite having repeatedly heard about this for many, many years now, it is also very probable that you still have no idea exactly what this means. The reason is because it’s very complicated. To even begin to understand it you need to look to the Mayan myths of the Sacred Tree and understand their incredibly complex Long Count calendar of tuns, k’atuns, and b’aktuns as well as their concepts of the Great Cycle, the Great Great Cycle, and cycles within cycles. You’d also need to understand astronomical occurrences involving the precession of the equinoxes and the conjunction of the sun at the intersection of the plane of the ecliptic and the Milky Way. You can do all that, or, you can simply read my interpretation of this summer’s Green Lantern movie, which shares the same message as the Mayan mythology. [Read more →]
IN FLANDERS FIELDS
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved,
and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
[Read more →]
It was an election day without candidates on Tuesday, at least around here. There were a couple issues on the ballot. One was to allow carry-out booze sales on Sundays. I favor. The other was for a limited time, special use, educational purposes only county sales tax of ONE PERCENT, morons, not one pennyas it is always said. This, I oppose. These aren’t especially serious matters but examining them might shed a little light on this thing we call Politics (shudder). The Sunday Sales law brings into combat some peculiar coalitions. At odds are two groups: evangelicals and similar religious folks allied with the bar/restaurant industry against a consortium of grocery/convenience and liquor store proprietors supported by forgetful but thrifty drunks. Commercial and personal interests are aswirl. One’s closest ally today is your sternest competitor tomorrow. The result was pretty one sided, though. It was a sweep for Sunday Beer, as it was so quaintly and expertly named. [Read more →]
Every Step You Take: A Memoir is a look back for Jock Soto at his family and his career, sorting through the influences that made him a unique figure in the ballet world. The writing took great courage, as some of his family history must have been hard to face — some unpleasant truths about his father, in particular, and his mother’s family. He has an amazing life story, a story that I don’t think could even happen today, and his telling of it is quite humble.
Jock got interested in ballet at the ripe old age of four, while watching Edward Villella dance on the Ed Sullivan Show. (He was performing a piece from Jewels, by George Balanchine, who he would later dance for at the New York City Ballet.) His parents took his request seriously and enrolled him in ballet classes. At 12 years old he auditioned for the School of American Ballet and was awarded a full scholarship. After a brief interruption in his training, he returned to New York with his family and at 14 years old, his family left, leaving Jock alone in New York City, with no income (other than his school stipend) and no adult supervision.
Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen of the press and America out there in the audience, as you know I have lately and suddenly been the subject of a veritable hailstorm of accusations; very vague and unsupported accusations and I have been required to respond without full knowledge of the events being referred to and these are, as you have seen, all much more than ten years old. I have denied them. They are unsupported and responsible members of the media have moved on. Others have not as is their prerogative. Now. There has been some improvement on that front. There is now a woman, Ms Bialek, who has come forward with lurid details and accusing me of actions that clearly are criminal and violently so. Let me set the record straight right here and right now. [Read more →]
The sun shines. People forget. There is an eminence front for all people and therefore all candidates. For candidates it must be especially thick and durable as it is liable to come under meticulous attack, if not by the people then by the press and the other candidates. Herman Cain has learned this simple truth. Does his need to learn this lesson the hard way indict him? According to the gunslingers not on the Cain payroll, the gunslingers that are have ham-handed this one. What actually happened or was said is immaterial on this reckoning. It’s all about the optics: how it looks and Cain looks like a desperate fugitive. [Read more →]
It makes me sad to write this column, but when I looked at this week’s bad and good sports stories, the choice of which story would lead my article for the week was an obvious one. For as long as I can remember, the name Penn State has meant nothing but winning and honor. Head football coach Joe Paterno, who has been at Penn State since man discovered fire, it seems, has led a program that has exemplified the best in college athletics. He has not only won two national championships, accomplished a bunch of undefeated seasons, and put countless players into the NFL, he has done all of that while graduating an unusually high percentage of his players and without having any kind of cheating or recruiting scandals. [Read more →]
10. Cooked 20 three-minute eggs
9. Tried to make sense out of Rick Perry’s words
8. Saw who was the fastest at saying “Irish wristwatch” ten times in a row
7. Shared a bottle of wine, then playing “Irish wristwatch” again
6. Speculated on Rebecca Black’s singing career
5. Watched The Best of Two and a Half Men 30 times
4. Wrote a fan letter to Cloris Leachman
3. Sudoku! Sudoku! Sudoku!
2. Tried to re-set the clock on their VCR
1. Made love to the wife, then took a nap for the other 59 minutes
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
You know the old saying that ‘a picture is worth a thousand words?’ There’s an interesting discussion of the adage and its origin, and I’m sure many of us can cite at least one occasion from our own, first-hand experience where it has been put to the test, and passed that test with ease.
There are occasions when a picture’s worth might be calculated by other units of measure. For example, might a picture’s worth be measured in terms of how many people are moved to change their hearts and their minds after viewing said picture? [Read more →]
Recently I travelled 3700 miles by car, from Massachusetts to Minnesota, then south to Missouri, and back again. Allowing for the time spent in Minneapolis, the journeyed portion of the trip was only six days. A little over 600 miles a day with many halts and a few wrong turns. It is a small accomplishment I understand, in this modern age, or in the larger scheme of things–even in my own life–but was done for reasons important to me. I had hoped for some perspective on what was to be, and was indeed, a great event, and found more than enough to please me. [Read more →]
A reader of the Bucks County Courier Times, Brad Thompson, gives word choice advice on today’s Opinion page:
“[Blank] sucks” began as a teenage homophobic slur in the 1960s to bully unpopular boys. Now, the “s-word” describes anything bad. Let’s say “stinks” instead.
This proposal worries me because it is possibly offensive to people with body odor. Also, to skunks.
And will people still be able to say “That stinks” when they want to complain about the stench coming from an overflowing trashcan, or will others think they are just saying that trash is bad?
In the overall scope of human history, we are a prosperous people, us Americans living right now. Yes, the rich are getting richer, the economy is looking bleak, and there are sit-ins and protests around the country — the world could always stand a few straightenings — but if you take a moment you realize we have more, and more access to, things than anybody else ever has. With apologies to the diehard pessimists and the political gain they hope their pessimism brings about, Americans have it pretty good. [Read more →]