Entries Tagged as ''

Barney the Dinosaur

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Barney Frank“We have a besetting sin today in our politics where people think that you show your depth of commitment to a cause by rigidity, not just by rigidity, but impugning the motives of those on your side who try to get something done.” –Barney Frank

There is some universe where Hank Paulson’s nudge to the hedge funds managers and their ilk is not criminal conspiracy and collusion, but not in this one. The fact that Bloomberg broke the story makes it seem even more egregious — obviously, someone  confused the roles of Secretary of the Treasury with Lord High Protector of Plutocrats. Interesting approach to doing business. Unfortunately, how exactly does the Congress respond? How does the White House respond? We’ve given the Bush administration a pass on things that degrade and demean the nation; won’t the Obama administration apply the same “professional courtesy” to this guy and his minions?

This is why we need public intellectuals like Elizabeth Warren, Paul Krugman and ultimately Barney Frank. Frank’s retirement isn’t terribly surprising — I’d rather hang out in Cambridge and the South Shore than DC, and he’s showing why he’s been there so long while showing the good sense to leave on a high note. For him, this will be a high note, one instance where Cassandra can crow…Frank is probably incapable of appearing to gloat even while gloating. Still the thought of the former Secretary of the Treasury and the former Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisors perp-walking into a Congressional Oversite Committee to force meaningful action on derivatives and finanical instruments without Representative Frank’s presence on the committee is sad. We’d love the show.

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The most dangerous class is our Crusader Class

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I’m so sick of our nation’s focus on this ridiculous rich vs. poor scuffle.  We all know that there will always be a distinction between rich and poor, even in Communist Utopias, because the rich and the poor have always been opposing one another and have, over the millennia, reached a sort of natural equilibrium which prevents one from eliminating the other.  Thus, over the course of thousands of years, the poor’s standards of living have increased dramatically, with a similar increase realized by the elites.  Neither of those groups is likely to be the instrument of oppression in the United States of America.

For that dubious distinction we need to look to our Crusader Class.

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Bad sports, good sports: Ndamukong Suh is a dirty player

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When is a dirty player not a dirty player? In the case of Detroit Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh, it is when you ask him. Ask anyone else, though, and you’ll likely hear a different tale. After numerous plays by him over the last couple of years that have gotten him penalized and fined, his reputation has become one of an exceptionally talented player who often steps over the line. On Thanksgiving Day, his actions left no doubt as to which side of that line is his preferred side. During a scuffle with Evan Dietrich-Smith of the Green Bay Packers, he not only banged Dietrich-Smith’s head against the ground several times, but he stomped on his arm with his cleat as he was pulled off of his opponent. Suh was immediately ejected from the game. [Read more →]

Top ten signs you ate too much on Thanksgiving

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10. While slicing the pumpkin pie, you cut your finger and gravy came out

9. Your belly button, formerly an innie, is now an outie

8. People kept saying, “Happy Thanksgiving, Gov. Christie!”
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Occupy Wall Street’s government problem

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Lisa reads Original Sin: A Sally Sin Adventure by Beth McMullen

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What do super spies do when they retire? Buy a beach house on a little island in the South Pacific? Spend their days squirreled away in basement offices in D.C., drinking bad coffee and filing reports no one will read? Maybe they don’t get to retire — maybe they just keep on working until they blow their cover one last time.

In Original Sin: A Sally Sin Adventure, Lucy Hamilton appears to be a run-of-the-mill suburban mom. She has playdates. She gets manicures. She has a handsome husband with an important job and an adorable toddler named Theo. But Lucy Hamilton barely exists. She has no paper trail. But she has plenty of secrets.

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A rant and a wish for Thanksgiving

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First, something for which I am less-than-thankful, this Thanksgiving … my annual plea to the media to please, please, PLEASE ignore the people waiting for hours-on-end outside the doors of some megamania superstore, jostling to be the first to glom onto some Black Friday bargain.
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Survivors of a lesser ark

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Far from the land of Noah lived Moah. He also was warned of the flood but his task was simpler, rather than saving all of land fauna, Moah built his ark to accomodate all the people and livestock of his little town, most prominently his triplet sons; Bovus, Vincent and Cornelius. Before god spake to him, Moah was a skillful worker of the earth. Grains, cattle and vines he knew best of all men. Like even the ignorant he also kept chickens, sheep and gardened other crops like basil and mint. These arts he taught with perfect consistency to all three of his sons and all three became as much the master of them as their father. Came the day of rains and all the townspeople and their seed and their beasts boarded the ark and waited for the rains to end. Once they did and the waters receded the ark was wrecked on a mountaintop. Moah drowned in this disaster which saw the three sons with equal goods and equal survivors drift apart. Each finally settled on different sides of the mountain, separated by rock and ravine, thinking themselves the only party to live through the deluge. [Read more →]

Who cares about Corzine

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When I read the news these days, I hit two sites first and foremost: The Drudge Report and Instapundit.  This morning, Mr. Drudge greeted me with a picture of John Corzine’s bearded mug and the hairline which hasn’t so much receded as it has engaged in a rapid, tactical removal of forces from a hopeless battle front.  Mr. Reynolds at Instapundit was posting links about the man and MF Global at 11:30 PM last night.  It seems that the guy did something truly horrendous or some such, I read where he lost a bit of money, but really: Why does anyone care about John Corzine?

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Surprised by fame, or: to Streep or not to Streep?

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On Sunday, I was leafing through People when I spotted somebody I used to work with in the gossip pages. Apparently she’s dating a movie star and they are about to get married.

Wow.

The fact that she was marrying a movie star didn’t shock me so much (her sister is a well-known actress) but rather that somebody I knew had made it into the pages of a tabloid. A law of nature had been violated: celebrity magazines should contain pictures of people I don’t know, like Angelina Jolie, or Jennifer Aniston, or Michael Jackson’s (ex) doctor. [Read more →]

Bad sports, good sports: The thrill of running a half marathon

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Six months ago, I wrote about the back surgery that had derailed my then-new-found love of running. My original plan, once I had started running last year, was to do the Broad Street Run, which is a 10-miler here in Philadelphia each May. When the back problem forced me to stop running, the race was obviously off the board. I had intended to do a 5K or two in advance of that, but had not managed to do that either. Since my last column on the subject, I started running again in June. All of the stamina that I had built up last year was gone, so I was starting from scratch, essentially. Running every other day, I managed to get it back, eventually, and it has paid off for me. This morning, I completed the Philadelphia Half Marathon. [Read more →]

Top ten X-rated Thanksgiving movies

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10. Homo for the Holidays

9. Makin’ Gravy

8. Deep Turkey
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Scotland: more than Groundskeeper Willie’s homeland

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I recently took a press trip to Scotland, where I spent four nights in four different hotels. All four were delightful (Edinburgh’s The Balmoral, The Fairmont St Andrews, a Taymouth Estate cottage, and Edinburgh’s The George Hotel) and I recommend each of them highly with one caveat: stay more than one night. Or at least, if you stay a single evening, stay later than 9am the next day. In the attempt to see as much of England’s Canada (only sassy) as possible, my group was forced to ignore this simple guideline, with the result I discovered the one thing I do worse than packing is re-packing and in the process acquired a strange sympathy for the higher-end rock bands of the world (we’re talking at least Kings of Leon level). [Read more →]

The plague of smart

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There is a nasty little radio spot airing nationally. It promotes “green” appliances and goods generally; swirly bulbs, “efficient” washers… that sort of thing although the specifics are tactically muddied. The ad pitches to a curiously young demographic. We’ve all met “Timmy”. Like Dickens’ Tiny Tim, Timmy is infectiously cute and contrived to pull at your major arteries. Timmy wants to go to the State Fair! Well, maybe he did and maybe he didn’t. Maybe he didn’t know there was such a thing as a State Fair but the announcer, whose relation to Timmy is unexplored, asks him breathlessly, “Do you want to go to the State Fair?” Of course he does! Sorry, you can’t. You see, Timmy, your parents are NOT using green, energy efficient doo-dads but the old busted bulbs and machinery, causing them to spend more on utilities and draining their pockets of the gas and ticket money necessary. If only your folks had bought the new, government approved and promoted doohickeys they would have been able to take you there for candy floss and teacup rides, whatever those are. If they get on board today then you can go to next year’s fair. “But I want to go NOW!” Radio Timmy coaches Timmies across the land in whinery to cajole mums and pops into replacing their eight-for-a-dollar earth-warming heat globes with pigtail bulbs at $8 dollars or more a pop. Needless to say, this public service message was paid for by Your Federal Family which draws its budget from you. [Read more →]

Newt rises as others falter

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Child abuse: We’re just not getting it

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As we withstand the informational deluge from Penn State, we are faced with the possibility of another case of institutional child abuse, in which a whole group of people, a whole structure, contributed to the horrific abuse of children. It is clear that we are just not getting it. [Read more →]

My two-week career: tales from the working world

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I’ve been away, dear reader, for quite some time. I’ve been busy driving a child to and from preschool, making Target runs, finding my spiritual center on Oprah’s Lifeclass (the first lesson taught us about the false power of ego), watching The Bachelor and Bachelor Pad (it takes three hours to watch that show every Monday night — that keeps a girl busy!), and wondering how I can avoid cooking the Thanksgiving Day turkey. [Read more →]

Lisa reads L.A. Mental by Neil McMahon

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The world is going crazy around Tom Crandall in Neil McMahon’s L.A. Mental. His brother, Nick, calls him in a paranoid frenzy, probably drug-induced. When Tom finds him, Nick literally jumps off a cliff. His sister, Erica, has been receiving threats. His brother Paul is involved in a film project with a charismatic figure that he follows with a cult-like intensity. And those are the only strange things happening — all over Los Angeles, people are going on destructive rampages for no discernible reason. Is there a connection?
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A letter to movie studio executives

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Dear Executives of Film,

The other day,  I was at the movies when a PSA flashed on the screen before the previews.  It was a plea from theater owners who are doubtlessly lamenting the move of their audience from the movie theater to their own living room thanks to game changers like Netflix and OnDemand. The PSA was actually pretty effective- there is something huge and remarkably profound that gets loss in the move from big screen to small screen. But I was shaking my head because it seems that you are all still missing the point regarding why we’ve, largely, stepped away from the movies. [Read more →]

High Desert Barbecue

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I just finished reading High Desert Barbecue, a novel by When Falls the Coliseum‘s own J.D. Tuccille. It’s a fun and very fast read (many of his chapters are only a couple of pages long). In the novel, wildly and humorously incompetent radical eco-terrorists face off against Rollo, a mountain man; Scott, a business writer with an anarchist attitude and a way with guns; and Scott’s  girlfriend Lani, a schoolteacher who’s no pushover. The trio, along with Scott’s heroic dog, Champ, has stumbled on the ludicrous efforts of the eco-terrorists, who, in cahoots with local authorities, argue among themselves in absurdly rendered dialogue as they try to burn down the forest in order to drive the people away and let nature reign. A violent showdown in the canyon ensues.

The nature, hiking, and firearms scenes are authentically described, full of rich details that bring the setting and story to life. It’s a yarn, for sure — the plot escalates and there’s a good bit of silliness and quite a few funny lines of dialogue and description. Given the political extremes the characters represent, there are, as might be expected, moments of political commentary and conversation from a generally libertarian viewpoint, some blatant, but Tuccille does not preach and doesn’t let politics interfere with the advancing action. His breezy tone and brisk pacing carry the reader along a novel that combines action and satire the whole way through.

A very metric Christmas

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It was slow in coming but fast in going. If you blinked, you missed it: the Christmas Tree Tax. As government grasping goes, it was pretty thin sauce. The proposal was for a 15-cent levy on every cut Christmas tree sold, collected by the Dept of Agriculture and released to an as yet non-existent Christmas Tree Promotion Board or somesuch. Let’s not ponder overlong how it is that a government scarcely able to mention “Christmas” finds no issue of church/state separation in collecting the lunch money for the National Christmas Tree Association. Also we will ignore that the White House will never pay that fifteen cents since their trees are donated which is considered a high honor, if not a fine commercial, for the grower. And of course, as the resident gunslingers explain, this is not a tax and is being delayed with far more fanfare than which it was proposed. To next Christmas? They do not say. [Read more →]

The McRib is a food miracle

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The McRib is a miracle sandwich. It’s something delicious that is made from a bunch of seemingly non-delicious ingredients. This apparently bothers some people.

Some people are just never satisfied.

Bad sports, good sports: It has been a difficult week to be a Penn Stater

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I have always managed to avoid covering the same story two weeks in a row, but the Penn State story has totally dominated the sports world’s news for the past week, so there is really no way around it. Since I wrote last, many things have happened. Legendary head coach Joe Paterno, assistant coach Mike McQueary, and university president Graham Spanier are all out, along with athletic director Tim Curley and vice president Gary Schultz. As a Penn Stater, this has been a very difficult week for me for a lot of reasons. [Read more →]

Top ten new campaign slogans for Herman Cain

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10. Yes We Cain!

9. Let’s Stop China Before They Get Nukes!

8. Our Guy’s Blacker Than Your Guy!
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Mao is Jesus, champagne, reefer, say wha? and… gratuitous blues

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“Oh Huntsman. Take that metrosexual pink tie & good sense over to the Democratic party where you belong.” Ana Marie Cox

So,the inimitable Ms.Cox twittered last evening to the effect that she couldn’t understand why Jon Huntsman didn’t take his calm demeanor, arched eyebrow and good ideas where they belonged, the Democratic party. After glancing through the results of the Republican foreign policy debate, I tend to agree. These people are deranged. While Mitt Romney can probably be forgiven for feeling confident, it’s sort of like feeling confident about pitching a no-hitter against the Yankees after ecking out a win over St Swithin’s School for the Blind, Lame and Criminally Insane. Although frankly, they couldn’t make the team at St Swithin’s…  [Read more →]

Time for a TEA Party revival

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A year and a half ago I wrote a piece here with the title “Grandma vs. The SWAT Team“, wherein I outlined an idea I had for generating an “iconic image” for the TEA Party movement, that of a little, old, blue haired lady sharing some cookies with a member of the SWAT team Obama had sent in to surround a TEA Party rally.  The idea was prompted by the pictures we were seeing in the news at the time, that of illegal immigrants having semi-violent clashes with the police, and the images featured in the story I was discussing in the post, images of little old ladies standing in front of the line of SWAT officers, smiling, laughing, joking around, and taking pictures, but doing absolutely nothing arrest worthy.

I’ve always thought it a great idea, and pondered over the state of TEA Party PR ever since.  I think now is the time to have a serious revisit on the idea.

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Climbing inside the horse, or: the uses of animals

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So anyway, yesterday I was driving down a country road when I spotted a decapitated stag lying in a ditch. The strange thing was that its head had been cleaved neatly from the body, leaving a perfect anatomical cross-section-type view of the interior of the neck. A car accident doesn’t do that – and even if it did, I’d still expect to see the head nearby, surrounded by turkey vultures pecking at the soft parts.

I briefly thought about vivisectionist aliens before settling on a redneck with a chainsaw as the likeliest explanation. No doubt he’d spotted the dead stag during the day then returned under cover of night to remove the “rack” for his collection. [Read more →]

Myth in movies: The Mayans predicted the coming of Green Lantern

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By now you have no doubt heard that according to astronomers and anthropologists, December 21, 2012 correlates to the “end” of the Mayan calendar. And, despite having repeatedly heard about this for many, many years now, it is also very probable that you still have no idea exactly what this means. The reason is because it’s very complicated. To even begin to understand it you need to look to the Mayan myths of the Sacred Tree and understand their incredibly complex Long Count calendar of tuns, k’atuns, and b’aktuns as well as their concepts of the Great Cycle, the Great Great Cycle, and cycles within cycles. You’d also need to understand astronomical occurrences involving the precession of the equinoxes and the conjunction of the sun at the intersection of the plane of the ecliptic and the Milky Way. You can do all that, or, you can simply read my interpretation of this summer’s Green Lantern movie, which shares the same message as the Mayan mythology. [Read more →]

Three reasons Perry is still relevant

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Call it what you will … but mark it

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Veterans Day

IN FLANDERS FIELDS
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved,
and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
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