10. The “Registrar’s Office” is actually the back of a ’56 Buick

9. The school motto is “Truth, Justice, Tuition Hikes”

8. The school cafeteria is just a candy vending machine

7. You first heard about the college on the back of a pack of matches

6. The college asks that you pay your tuition up front, in cash, no large bills

5. The History professor teaches how the ‘Good Guys’ lost the Civil War

4. George W. is on the cover of the yearbook

3. All the professors are on some sort of work release program

2. There are no Asians anywhere

1. The school library has only three books, and two of them involve finding Waldo
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.

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