Bob Sullivan's top ten everythingtravel & foreign lands

Top ten signs you’re having a bad summer

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10. You’ve lost so much blood from mosquito bites, they’ve stopped biting you

9. That ‘travel agent’ you went to drunk turned out to be an Army recruiter

8. You go in for a spray tan and come out looking like John Boehner – which makes you cry like John Boehner

7. Your summer highlight: watching reruns of “iCarly”

6. Your eyebrows haven’t grown back since the Fourth of July

5. First name “Rod.” Last name “Blagojevich.”

4. Your vacation package is for seven days and two nights

3. Your sunburn is so bad, drivers stop at you and wait for you to change

2. Due to hard-of-hearing travel agent, instead of Cancun you wind up in Camden

1. The B&B you’re staying at evidently stands for ‘bed’ and ‘bugs’

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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