Top ten answers to the question, “How hot is it?”

10. “It’s so hot, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s having an affair with the counter lady at Baskin-Robbins.”

9. “It’s so hot, Dick Cheney was caught waterboarding himself.”

8. “It’s so hot, street people are making their own gravy.”

7. “It’s so hot, Charlie Sheen tested positive for Slurpees.”

6. “It’s so hot, I saw an Amish guy buying an air conditioner.”

5. “It’s so hot, former IMF boss Dominique Strauss-Kahn said he was looking forward to spending some time in the cooler.”

4. “It’s so hot, chickens are laying omelets.”

3. “It’s so hot, my car’s GPS lady keeps directing me towards Canada.”

2. “It’s so hot, Hillary Clinton’s been wearing her pantsuit without the pants.”

1. “It’s so hot, Anthony Weiner actually appreciates his wife giving him the cold shoulder.”

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

• Author Bio ^[1]
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Bob Sullivan ^[3]

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus ^[4] (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 ^[5] and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.

Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts ^[6])

• Top ten reasons this will be my last Top Ten List ^[7] - April 30, 2018
• Top ten more syntax one-liners ^[8] - April 23, 2018
• Top ten more alcohol one-liners ^[9] - April 16, 2018
• Top ten more dog one-liners ^[10] - April 9, 2018
• Top ten revelations in the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview ^[11] - April 2, 2018