If you were not stunned by the verdict in the Casey Anthony case, then you must have a heart of stone, if indeed you have a heart at all. When Casey Anthony was found to be “innocent” of the “crime” of “murdering her own daughter,” I myself was stunned. How could such a terrible crime be allowed to go unpunished?, I thought to myself. The fact that I didn’t do anything about it other than give it a few minutes’ thought and then move on with my life only proves how callous I have become, in the face of injustice and the suffering of others.

But one woman from Oklahoma saw that verdict and actually did something about it, drafting an online petition to encourage “a new federal law created called Caylee’s Law that will make it a federal offense for a parent or guardian to not notify law enforcement of a child going missing in a timely manner.” Here is some of the powerful prose of the proposed law:

I’m writing to propose that a new law be put into effect making it a felony for a parent, legal guardian, or caretaker to not notify law enforcement of the death of their child, accidental or otherwise, within 1 hour of said death being discovered. This way there will be no more cases like Casey Anthony’s in the courts, and no more innocent children will have to go without justice.

Also, make it a felony for a parent, legal guardian, or caretaker to not notify law enforcement of the disappearance of a child within 24 hours, so proper steps can be taken to find that child before it’s too late.

Hearteningly, this petition has garnered more than 300,000 signatures. Those people who “signed” this petition understand the importance of not killing children. Or, of reporting your child being killed in a timely manner. They also understand that every time something happens that confuses or annoys us, a new law must be created to add to all the existing laws, which were clearly insufficient in this case because, otherwise, we would have had a more desirous outcome.

I applaud these people. I, too, dislike it when children die. But I believe that this proposed law does not go nearly far enough. For example, why would this law give the parents or guardians one hour after discovering “said death” of the child to report it? Shouldn’t they have to report it immediately after discovering “said death”? Why give these people one extra hour to cover up their crimes? In fact, “Caylee’s Law” should require people to report the death of a child as it is happening. That way, investigators can get on the scene as the child dies, and begin their investigation into the murderous parent or guardian right away.

Moreover, you will note that the petition makes no mention of how exactly the authorities will determine when the body of the child was discovered. A parent or guardian could always tell investigators, “Well, I found the body at 11:48 PM, which is why I called you at 12:47:53 AM” when really they found the body at 4 o’clock, but decided to attend a party and get a tattoo before reporting the body. Obviously, we know from hard experience that people are capable of doing such things — Casey Anthony did it, after all! — so the law must somehow address this. I would suggest putting cameras in every residence in America, to keep tabs on everyone’s activities all the time. The images captured by these cameras would only be viewable if a parent or guardian reports the death of a child, to check and make sure that said parent or guardian immediately reported the discovery of said death — this should address any so-called “privacy” concerns that people might have.

(The law would also have to include some provision requiring that everyone in America use the same clocks, so that everyone has the same “time.”)

Another problem I have with “Caylee’s Law,” as proposed, is that it allows the criminal parent or guardian 24 hours to report “the disappearance” of a child. Again, I have to wonder why it is that the person who proposed this law is so heartless as to want to allow someone a full 24 hours to try to dispose of the body of the child they have just murdered? A person should have to report their child missing as soon as the child goes missing, even if they have just walked to the corner to play with their friends, or if a relative takes them to a baseball game that goes into extra innings. This is serious — we are talking about the life of a child here.

A better idea would be to require that everyone who has a child or watches a child should be required, every 24 hours, to notify local law enforcement that their child is not missing. That way, if someone doesn’t call in, the police know where to go to check for the dead bodies of children.

Moreover and perhaps most important of all, I believe that any proposed “Caylee’s Law” should include a provision requiring that lawmakers pass new laws within 24 hours of any event that confuses, saddens, or frustrates a majority of sensitive Americans.

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Ricky Sprague

Ricky Sprague occasionally writes and/or draws things. He sometimes animates things. He has a Twitter account and he has a blog. He scripted this graphic novel about Kolchak The Night Stalker. He is really, really good at putting links in bios.

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