Bob Sullivan's top ten everythinggetting older

Top ten suggested wedding gifts for Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris

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10. A honeymoon bed with handrails

9. A defibrillator

8. A subscription to Penthouse

7. That new STD iPhone app

6. A copy of Kama Sutra for the Infirm

5. A collection of naked TSA photos

4. A tuxedo with a built-in adult diaper

3. A Viagra Pez dispenser

2. A Playboy calendar with only May and December in it

1. A Rascal scooter with a “Just Married” sign and tin cans tied to the back

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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