10. Your play about General Schwarzkopf is called The Book of Norman
9. At least twice a week, another Spidey stuntman is maimed or killed
8. Trying to cash in on jukebox musicals like Mamma Mia and Movin’ Out, your new musical is called Ice Ice Baby
7. The marquee reads “Pauly Shore Is Jean Valjean”
6. Your Feydeau farce features Arnold Schwarzenegger and Dominique Strauss-Kahn chasing the French maid
5. No matter how good it is, your fifth-grade production of Death of a Salesman is not eligible
4. Instead of “Author! Author!” audience shouts “Boo! Kill!”
3. All the dialogue has been translated into Portuguese, because it loses something in the original
2. Your choreographer is straight
1. Your one-man show dealt mainly with your tiger’s blood, Adonis DNA, and fire-breathing fists
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
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Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts [6])
- Top ten reasons this will be my last Top Ten List [7] - April 30, 2018
- Top ten more syntax one-liners [8] - April 23, 2018
- Top ten more alcohol one-liners [9] - April 16, 2018
- Top ten more dog one-liners [10] - April 9, 2018
- Top ten revelations in the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview [11] - April 2, 2018