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The importance of helping Americans “hold themselves in line”

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Back in 2005, while attending a live Bob Dylan show, I encountered the country stylings of his opening act, Merle Haggard. This artist’s simple songs of soil people touched me in a surprising way, and I was glad I didn’t follow my first instinct, which was to skip his act altogether. Later, I actually purchased his box set, “Down Every Road,” which features a number of his classic songs, among them the haunting lament, “I Can’t Hold Myself in Line.” This song was written in 1968, but its expression of melancholia in a world that gives humans too many choices for his own good could easily be torn from the diary — or, if you prefer, blog — of any Four Loko-drinking, Big Mac-eating, Sport Utility Vehicle-driving, Camel-smoking iPad-user today.

Hey, my weakness is stronger than I am
Guess I’ve always been the losin’ kind
Now I’m full speed ahead down the wrong road of life
And I can’t hold myself in line

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The authenticity myth: Art without boundaries

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I don’t know why I get so annoyed by clichés. Maybe it is my fiction-writing background. Maybe I’m just an early-onset curmudgeon. But one time, at a party, someone referenced the idea that you can’t play the blues well unless you lived the blues — whatever the hell that means.  Does he mean you need to be short of cash for the rent? A heavy drinker? Does he mean you have to be from a certain town? Do you have to be African-American? If that is what he means, I think he is simply buying-in to a tired cliché. Worse, he may be treading on prejudiced racial ground, just when he thinks he is being complimentary. [Read more →]

MartyDigs – SMS – Save My School!

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The end of the world was supposed to happen on Saturday, it didn’t, but rapture jokes replaced Charlie Sheen jokes in the social media stratosphere. I am glad to know we weren’t all sucked into the ground from an earthquake, and happy that Jesus is waiting to make his second coming. I kindly pray that he at least hold off until I break the high score on the Ms. Pac-Man machine at my local pizza shop. However, my community got some very bad news about the end of a very special place in many hearts- St. Mary’s school in Gloucester City, New Jersey is going to be shutting its doors after this school year. [Read more →]

Bad sports, good sports: Things are going downhill for Lance Armstrong

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The skies are looking ominous for cycling champion Lance Armstrong. One of the world’s best known athletes, Armstrong has long been dogged by accusations of doping during a career that produced seven victories in the Tour de France, cycling’s most prestigious event. He has firmly denied any wrongdoing, and has never failed a legitimate drug test. For some reason, I have always been inclined to believe his denials, even going as far as to defend him here when his disgraced former teammate Floyd Landis spoke out against him a year ago. Now, though, several more of Armstrong’s former teammates have claimed that he not only used performance-enhancing drugs, but that he encouraged them to do so as well. [Read more →]

Top ten signs you’re not going to graduate

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10. On your paper “What I Plan To Do After Graduation,” your teacher wrote “Guess again”

9. Your final paper in Music class was entitled “Why Justin Bieber Is the New Mozart”

8. The last time you picked up a book, it took you the better part of the afternoon to find all the Waldos

7. It’s bad enough you had an affair with a teacher, but the shop teacher?!

6. In Geography class, you identified the Ivory Coast as “two brands of soap”

5. In your high school yearbook, you were voted ‘Most Likely to Be Unable to Tell His Ass from a Hole in the Ground’

4. You were caught out on the football field, sticking a suppository into a hole in the ground

3. In Chemistry, the only elements you could name from the periodic table were Neon, Freon, Dione, and Leon

2. After years of instruction, you still talk into the wrong end of the telephone

1. The only history you learned all year long, you learned from Glenn Beck’s Classroom of the Air
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

Newt’s eerily familiar rhetoric

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Pay attention: Standardized tests are destroying education, part 1 (of 874)

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I have this ongoing belief that most of the woes we deal with as a nation, as a species are because we just haven’t paid enough attention; I think, I guess in what is an unshakable optimism about human potential (and you may read this as “delusion”), that once we are shocked awake to stupidity and injustice, we will fix it. In that regard, I am convinced that if we stepped back and thought hard — with real clarity and attention — about the amount of time U.S. students now spend preparing for the filling in of little bubbles and then filling in those bubbles, overnight we would have a massive education revolution. [Read more →]

Lisa reads: Graveminder by Melissa Marr

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“Sleep well, and stay where I put you.”

Last Friday, I got on a plane in Minneapolis. It had been a very long day and I was extremely tired. I opened my new read, Graveminder by Melissa Marr, thinking I would read the first chapter while they finished boarding and got through the announcements. I planned to sleep the rest of the way home…187 pages later, we landed in Cleveland. I hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep. Instead, I was utterly absorbed in the book, wishing I had just another hour in the air so I could finish it. [Read more →]

Loose lips vs. clean hands

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Once upon a time in America there were posters that said “Loose Lips Sink Ships“. It was good advice for serious times. (According to some sources, posters actually said “Loose Lips Might Sink Ships“, but we remember the catchier, more concise version.)

These days we have different posters and different slogans. Pictured below is one posted in a men’s restroom where I work: “Clean Hands Save Lives!” [Read more →]

RSVP to Doomsday

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Dear Harold,

Boy! I am certainly feeling a little silly this morning. It seems my faith in Woody Harrelson, the Mayan calendar and the world’s demise in 2012 has been exceedingly misplaced.  According to you, the end of the world actually begins this weekend. Saturday—right after the six o’clock news!

[Read more →]

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