10. My dog ate my tax form

9. My accountant was recommended by Nicholas Cage

8. I’ve decided to make my own stimulus package

7. Sarah Palin claims paying taxes contributes to Big Government Socialism

6. Math hurts my head

5. I got an April first e-mail saying we didn’t have to pay any taxes this year

4. Lindsay Lohan stole my 1040

3. I’m protesting the fact that our ‘theater of war’ has become a multiplex

2. After I claimed all the voices in my head as deductions, it turned out the government owed me money

1. I just woke up from my New Year’s Eve party
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.

Latest posts by Bob Sullivan (Posts)

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• Top ten more alcohol one-liners - April 16, 2018
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• Top ten revelations in the Stormy Daniels 60 Minutes interview - April 2, 2018

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