It’s no secret that this reporter loves the Russian Web site Pravda.

Pravda distills world news and current events into an aggregate of truth and beauty. Blood-red, Putin-flavored beauty.

Thus it comes as no surprise that Pravda contains the world’s greatest music coverage.

Some excerpts are provided below.

From the Prav‘s med files – ”Hard Rock is Dangerous For the Lungs”:

“Listening to Hard Rock or Heavy Metal music may be hazardous to one’s health. A team of Belgium scientists from the University of Medicine in Brussels managed to draw such conclusion after extensive research work.

According to the results, music compositions of the above-mentioned styles can in fact be dangerous and can cause an incurable damage to lungs. More specifically, it may result in pneumothorax, a condition when lungs lose their ability to collect air and breath. The scientists have observed three cases of this condition in young people who attended rock concerts regularly; they have also examined a man who would constantly listen to Hard Rock music in his car.”

Pravda also informs that Belgium, the country whose scientists worked so arduously on the Lung Study, has been cancelled. Good riddance, I say. What a crap kingdom.

On the Britney Spears front, Pravda is indispensable. Read its take on a Britney concert in Moscow several years ago, which calls for the pop singer’s assassination by AK-47:

“When the show started, all the people in the audience noticed immediately that Britney was lip-synching. Many hoped that it would only be in the beginning of the show, and that the pop princess would soon switch to live sound. However, it did not happen. The whole show was lip-synched with no live sound at all. That was probably the biggest trick of Britney’s Circus.

“It seems very strange that such a major pop star as Britney Spears affords so much sloppy work. Does anyone criticize her lip-synching in the West? Elton John once said, sharing his impressions of Madonna’s Re-Invention Tour, that anyone lip-synching on stage should be shot. He did not say that Madonna lip-synched only the first two songs of her show during that world tour in 2004. The rest was played live. Britney decided to do playback only. A Kalashnikov, anyone?”

In a list of the “Ten Most Horrible Places on Earth,” Prav gives us the skinny on the Abbey of Thelema, which once functioned as the late Aleister Crowley‘s evil church. (Did you know that Crowley, like Satanic shock rocker Marilyn Manson, has fans for whom he is known? And that the famous Beatles music band had a nefarious connection to Crowley and his Satanic orgies?)

“…(the Abbey) used to be the world capital of Satan orgies. Crowley is known for his fans, like Marilyn Manson. He also appeared on the cover of the Beatles album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. Crowley founded the Abbey of Thelema, which became the community of free love.”

And the best Lady Gaga scoops on the net come via Pravda, e.g.

“Dressed in a perspex high-shouldered tunic dress, GaGa demonstrated that when you forget a vital piece of underwear the end result can be rather painful. The Alejandro singer must have been very uncomfortable considering her boobs were squashed to an eye-watering flatness, as she performed some rigorous choreography during her show. Even the star’s super-toned stomach looked like it was undergoing some heavy chafe-age in the futuristic outfit, which left little to the imagination…”

and

“Lady Gaga performed at the Human Rights Campaign dinner in Washington D.C. on Saturday Night. And for this performance the 23-year-old Gaga left her usual panty-less and bootylicious costumes at home, opting for a demure black dress topped with a pair of John Lennon inspired sunglasses.”

Pravda also has the goods on Susan Boyle:

“…She did a saucy little dance with her red muffler as if it was a stripper’s boa, and then waggled her caterpillar eyebrows and then she sang that song, the one about the torture of living with blasted dreams…”

In conclusion, although Pravda is a mutant relative of the defunct-yet-identically named Soviet publication of yore, its music coverage is second to none. I recommend it to all fans of the entertainment industry, especially those who love rock and roll.

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