Top ten signs Sylvester Stallone is too old to be making action flicks

Top ten signs Sylvester Stallone is too old to be making action flicks

Posted on November 29th, 2010 by Bob Sullivan

10. In The Expendables he wore an orthopedic beret

9. He keeps looking for the ‘mute’ button on his machine gun

8. He rides into battle on a Rascal scooter

7. His ‘reinforcements’ are a big bag of prunes

6. That headband in the latest Rambo was to help keep his wig in place

5. His stunt double is Eli Wallach

4. Instead of raw eggs, he’s gulping down Metamucil

3. Now, instead of bounding up the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum, he uses the wheelchair ramp

2. His latest love interest was played by Betty White

1. To help him lift his gun, he’s been taking Viagra

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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Bob Sullivan

Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.