No, I am not talking about the heartwarming 1993 movie about the love affair between a young boy and a killer whale. I am talking about the weekend arrest of grizzled country music star Willie Nelson for marijuana possession. It just ain’t right.
I wouldn’t necessarily say I am digging Willie Nelson getting arrested for pot possession, it’s more like angered and amazed by this. Let me preface this all by saying that I hate country music with an unbridled passion. I try not to use the word hatemuch, and reserve the word only for country music, the show TMZ, the band Nickelback, and the entire New York Yankees organization. So while I am not a Willie Nelson music fan, I am definitely a Willie Nelson person fan. He is no doubt an icon with that greasy ponytail and crusty beard that probably still has food in it from something he ate in 1972. The guy also made a cameo in “Half Baked” where he said the classic line, “I remember when a dime bag used to cost a dime.” And for that alone, I think Willie Nelson seems like a pretty cool dude. So who could possibly arrest this beloved free spirit for doing something he truly enjoys doing?
I think it is also fair for me to say that I am not one of those “Legalize Pot” advocates either. While I certainly think the stuff should be legal to some extent, or at least decriminalized, I am not like that guy we all knew in college who would marvel at all the wonders of hemp. Like hemp could do all this incredible stuff and achieve world peace, end world hunger, and solve a Rubik’s cube. But I do think it’s absurd that someone would waste their time arresting Willie Nelson for it.
I can imagine this country-fried hillbilly sheriff rubbing his hands together in glee as if Roscoe P. Coltrane finally caught the Duke boys. Great work Sherlock Holmes! You found some weed on the bus of a 73 year old country music legend who openly expresses his love for marijuana and is the co-chair of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML).
Here are some more crime tips, Columbo: you may find weed on Snoop Dogg or Cypress Hill’s tour bus as well, or find a lethal amount of ozone killing hairspray on Bon Jovi’s bus. And it’s pretty’s safe to say you will find a cache of weapons, weed, and Cristal champagne on any given rapper’s bus.
I’d be thrilled as a taxpayer in Texas to know that money and time was spent on busting Willie Nelson for pot. I’m sure everyone in Texas is sleeping better tonight knowing that despicable and dangerous criminal is off the streets. Oh, and I am certain ol’ Willie learned a lesson and will never ever touch that naughty weed again. And if you believe all that, you must be smoking the stuff yourself!