Top ten signs you’ve eaten too much on Thanksgiving
Posted on November 22nd, 2010 by Bob Sullivan
10. You’re mistaken for a runaway Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon
9. You had to let out your shower curtain
8. At the beach, compassionate surfers keep trying to push you back in the ocean
7. This morning, the display on your bathroom scale read “Holy crap!”
6. You’re constantly asked what circus you work for
5. Your bellybutton suddenly popped out like one of those turkey thermometers
4. You’re sweating yams
3. NASA is planning to launch a rocket in the hopes of photographing the other side of you
2. So far, twelve people have referred to you as “Mr. Limbaugh”
1. Whenever anyone says, “Please pass the Butterball,” somebody grabs you
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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Great list, Bob. Every one’s a winner!