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all workbooks & writing

Interview with Mark SaFranko

Mark SaFranko has led a writer’s life. Dan Fante once said of SaFranko that the man would rather “write than breathe,” and Mark has stayed restless but productive throughout his working years. This means he has held too many shit jobs and too many of his manuscripts have been left to rot unpublished and unread, but this fall, a breakthrough is on the horizon. In November, his cult classic Hating Olivia will be his first novel published by a major press in America although the book was published five years ago in England. Indeed, SaFranko follows a long line of American novelists who found a home in Europe before they managed to crack the conservative culture of American publishing. As you’ll read below, Mark has fought battles as a writer, a husband, a father, and a human being. But even when the future was most bleak for SaFranko, it knew better than to fuck with him when he was on a writing kick. Keep reading to check out his excellent responses to my questions about Hating Olivia, parenting, the future of books, and more. [Read more →]

Meg gives advice to famous peoplepolitics & government

New York politics: The greatest show on earth

The circus came to New York last night, and I do not mean Barnum and Bailey. Last night was the first and likely only gubernatorial debate and it was, if I may be blunt, a shit show. I knew the debate would be a bit crazy when I heard that all seven candidates would be allowed to debate (if I may quote Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music: “SEVEN???!!!”), but no one could anticipate just how glorious this figurative rape of our political system would be. The debate was more entertaining than the season finale of “Mad Men.” The front runners of the race, Andrew “Nepotism” Cuomo and Carl “Get off my lawn!” Paladino, offered nothing substantive or entertaining, but that left plenty of room for the remaining five candidates to get their freak on. And what will become of these candidates, now that their fifteen minutes are up? I have a few helpful suggestions… [Read more →]

artistic unknowns by Chris Matarazzomusic

One man’s journey to enlightenment: “Elton John is gay?”

Recently, I got an email that I thought my “Artistic Unknowns” readers might want to see. The writer identified himself only as “None of Your Business”. Anyway, here it is:

Dear Chris,

You are one of those music guys, so I thought you might be interested in my problem: A while ago, I found out that Elton John is gay. Now this might not be a big deal to you artsy types, but it had a profound effect on me. [Read more →]

getting olderthat's what he said, by Frank Wilson

The most disconcerting thing about growing old

I have begun writing this just after midnight on Thursday, October 14. At 8:30 this morning I will turn 69, which means that I will enter upon my 70th year, at the end of which I will arrive at the so-called Biblical age of three score and ten. [Read more →]

recipes & food

All Hail The Mighty McRib!

It was exactly 1:24 AM on October 19th when I took my first bite of a McRib since who-knows-when.

I missed my old friend, the glorious boneless pork product with one of the most loyal, determined fan bases in the fast food world.  Some stories of McRib sightings had gotten back to me in the past, and while I never went to great lengths, I did do a little exploring. Twitter colleague @Legendary23 told me he’d seen lines for a McRib spilling out of a McDonald’s about 30 miles away, so when I had a jones for a late night snack, I hit up a closer location to see if I could score the elusive sandwich.

Jackpot.

Every bite was like a trip down memory lane. The sub roll, the sauce, the light pickles and onions… terrific. A Dr. Pepper went with it perfectly. If you haven’t been able to get in on the craze yet, you should on November 2nd when the McRib officially returns nationwide, albeit temporarily.

Now if only they could bring back the Arch Deluxe and the Coke float…

television

Marty digs: Phineas and Ferb and Halloween

This week, as October is flying by us, and Phillies playoff baseball has me in a tizzy, and yesterday’s Eagles game tailgate has me almost in a coma, I am digging Phineas and Ferb and the last day of the month Halloween.

[Read more →]

bad sports, good sports

Bad sports, good sports: Gilbert Arenas is comically stupid

Intelligent professional athletes exist. They really do. Sometimes, though, it seems like the number of idiots in sports simply dwarfs the number of smart people. I guess that is because it is so much easier to write about the dopes. One such non-brain surgeon is Gilbert Arenas, a basketball player for the Washington Wizards of the NBA. [Read more →]

ends & oddtelevision

The TLC cable network’s perfect show: “The Three Little Plygs”

TLC, the network that has brought us reality shows about little people, families with multiple children, and polygamists, has finally created what must be its ultimate television show, entitled “The Three Little Plygs.” Its first episode premiered last night and let me tell you it was exactly as thought-provoking, humorous, and exciting as real life.

The show tells the story of the Popinjay family. They’re just like you and me, except for a few superficial differences. First of all, they’re a family of little people. Second of all, they’re polygamists. Third of all, every one of the “sister wives” has given birth to multiples.

As the husband, John, is fond of saying (he seems to say this or some variant to the camera every five minutes), “Love should multiply, even a little.”

[Read more →]

art & entertainmentBob Sullivan's top ten everything

Top ten fun ways to spend your extra hour when we switch back to Standard Time

10. Listen to Frédéric Chopin’s “Minute Waltz” 60 times

9. Get all your exercise out of the way for the rest of the year

8. Write another long rambling letter to Justin Bieber

7. Watch the Fox News Channel until you vomit

6. Cook 20 three-minute eggs

5. Sudoku! Sudoku! Sudoku!

4. Try to re-set the clock on your VCR

3. Watch “The Best of Jersey Shore” 120 times

2. Get a tattoo of Cloris Leachman on your butt cheek

1. Make love to your wife, then rest the other 59 minutes
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

television

Don Draper: Bizarro Willie Loman

Mad Men ended its fourth season tonight with a typically spellbinding episode, an Old Fashioned-drenched and smoke-shrouded punch to the gut that left no doubt as to the best show currently on television.

[Read more →]

politics & government

Rich Iott’s Ohio Historical Re-enactment Society Newsletter

Dear fellow living historians,

Another year is fast becoming history — pun intended! — and we have been busier than ever. Before it slips away, let us take a moment to congratulate ourselves on recent successes and take a sneak peek at the exciting new historical events just around the corner.

This past March, we kicked off our season with the fifth annual shelling of Sarajevo. [Read more →]

fashion & clothingterror & war

In praise of the ‘Member’s Only’ jacket (sort of)

I was struck with déjà vu the other day when in a local Kohl’s I spied a rack of ‘Member’s Only’ jackets. I hadn’t seen one in years. My last memories of the MO jacket were of my dad wearing his long after it fell out of fashion. For those unfamiliar with the iconic 1980s windbreaker, it was the American fashion industry’s answer to the question: what does one wear to a Cold War? Its military styling — it’s cut like a bomber jacket, complete with epaulettes and a front label resembling a military ribbon — was highly symbolic of Reagan-era cold warrior mentality. No other piece of men’s fashion better commodified U.S. foreign policy or made a clearer statement of where its wearer stood versus the Evil Empire. We were at war and in need of proper attire; and in hindsight it was a war worth having. Being a member of a ‘Member’s Only’ club that helped bring down the wall is something in which to take pride.

I don’t know how well the MO jacket is selling these days. Poorly, I hope. [Read more →]

educationlanguage & grammar

A brief lesson in english.

All of my life I’ve been told rule after rule by every snooty english teacher that the public school system, and all educational institutions beyond that could throw at me.  Periods this, commas that, apostrophe my butt.  We get it guys, writing is boring. [Read more →]

diatribespolitics & government

The mad tea party

They’re proud; they’re loud; they are selfish in the extreme, and simple in their thinking. And none of those traits is inherently bad or stupid. Within the extremely generous confines of American political discourse, at least when it comes to the rightward end of the spectrum, the Tea Party Movement is just another outbreak of self-righteous me-first I-want-my-country-back ideology. It’s the thinking of people who believe a mild and flawed health care reform law imperils their very way of life. [Read more →]

Mr. Sean goes to Washington

Meet the new boss (depressingly similar to the old boss)

This article will be depressing. It takes a bunch of grim facts you probably already knew and connects them. Also, it’s long, excessively so (which is why I divided it into two pieces). It’s just a miserable, miserable experience. That said, there’s good news at the end. Not the end of this half — which concludes in a manner both bleak and abrupt — but of the part that appears next week. If you stick it out, you will be rewarded. Is the reward worth all the stick leading up to the carrot? Probably not. Let’s dive in, gang! [Read more →]

Joshua Goldowsky blames a fictional charactermovies

I Blame Zoltar for Poor Customer Service

We have all been, at one time or another, victims of poor customer service. The idea that “the customer is always right” seems to be something of the past although many companies seem to be getting the message that the customer will vote with their wallets if they don’t get what they want. So while things may be improving in some areas, there must be some reason why customer service was allowed to get so bad for so long.

For this I turn your attention to the 1988 film Big, starring Tom Hanks. [Read more →]

Broadway Fred

Broadway Fred: Tales from the line

Last March I was at the TKTS line with my wife, Gail, and my sister-in-law, Helaine, and we were trying to figure out what to see.  Nothing on the board grabbed us.  What we really wanted was A View from the Bridge, but with the ecstatic reviews and the movie stars Liev Schreiber and Scarlett Johansson in the lead roles it would be absurd to imagine that seats would be available for half price.  We contemplated walking to the box office and seeing if there might be three seats left at the absurd full price, but Gail suggested we ask one of the TKTS line people if it ever appeared on the board.  In the interest of a harmonious marriage, I have learned to not roll my eyes at my wife’s foolish ideas.  So we asked. [Read more →]

politics & governmenttrusted media & news

Krystal Ball’s “raunchy” photos: the world is changing; get used to it old people

To everyone over the age of 30, I have a message: The world is changing. Your ideas of what is “personal” versus “private” are outdated. The kids today, they share things. Now they’re on the facebook (yes, they’ve all left friendster!). They think it’s funny to post photos of themselves passed out drunk, for their friends to see. They send each other “sexts” (that’s a portmanteau word combing “sex” and “text,” and it means they send each other sexual text messages, sometimes even with photos of themselves). They take photos of themselves at parties, engaged in the act of “partying.” [Read more →]

Gail sees a movie

Gail sees a movie: Jack Goes Boating

Philip Seymour Hoffman gives yet another excellent performance and makes an equally impressive film directing debut. Hoffman reprises his role in his Labyrinth Theater Company’s production of Robert Glaudini’s play (Glaudini also wrote the screenplay here). Jack Goes Boating is a small film about relationships where the little things can change lives. The four leads shine in this quiet and moving film. [Read more →]

art & entertainmentMeg gives advice to famous people

Spread your wings, Courteney Cox, and take to the sky!

Ooooh, girl, did you hear the news? Courteney Cox and her husband David Arquette, of the Los Angeles Arquettes, have decided to separate. Somewhere, Jennifer Aniston is throwing her arms up to the heavens and shouting “Yes! I’m no longer the saddest former Friend!” Don’t worry, Jenny, that title has long been reserved for Matt LeBlanc. Anyway, in their statement to the press, the Cox-Arquettes said they hope that “friends, family, fans and the media also show us respect, dignity, understanding and love at this time as well.” What better way to show my respect, dignity, understanding and love than by offering Courteney the benefit of my advice? Oh it feels so good to give. [Read more →]

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