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Going parental: Why that stupid New York magazine article “All Joy and No Fun” was the dumbest sh*t I’ve ever read

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By now, this article has been completely ripped apart, picked apart, debated, agreed with and utterly denounced. At this point I’ve read “All Joy And No Fun: Why Parents Hate Parenting,” and I have to say — what a total piece of shit.

I don’t know anything about the writer and to be honest I made no attempt at learning a thing about her because I wouldn’t waste my time.

Listen — you don’t want to have kids? More power to you. But those of you who go out there, get married and have kids — and then blame all of your problems on the fact that you had kids — are total assholes. You’re selfish, ego-maniacal douchebags. And deep down, I think you know it.

The author of this piece goes on and on about how amazing the parents are, how attractive they are and how — when eight or nine-o’clock rolls around — their children become demons.

Oh, what pain and suffering it must cause these poor, poor people to make their kids do homework, wash up and go to bed.

Vomit.

The whole piece seemed eerily contrived and almost diabolical. It was as if the piece were written with some sort of authority and the problem is that when an article this controversial appears in such a well-established publication as New York magazine, its readers — sometimes — forget who they are and fall victim to the obvious and subliminal implications the article carries with it.

Wake up, guys. Kids don’t ruin a marriage, the parents do. And while kids cause stress — believe me, I speak from experience — they don’t cause the destruction of someone’s happiness.

If you have children and you’re miserable and your marriage has failed, be a fucking adult and admit to yourself that it’s because you made mistakes, not your children. Blaming the kids is the oldest and most detested trick in the book.

Now let’s be clear — I have friends who are not interested in having children, and I support them a million times over. They know they’re not “kid people” and they accept that.

Good for them! They have the brains and the balls to know what they want and to not let society talk them into something they don’t feel is right for them.

This article glorifies people who seem to have fallen prey to that pressure and I personally find that detestable.

I’m the first person to admit that I love having a child, but I hate being a parent. And I would never deny the fact that having children changes your relationship with your partner. But All Joy and No Fun? Nah.

Those are the words of selfish, self-centered yuppies who are pissed that they have to trade in their M3 for an X5.

Wah.

Going Parental has been resurrected and will now appear on Wednesdays. Parents who blame their kids for everything wrong with their lives appear constantly and without warning. Keep an eye peeled — they’re actually not that hard to spot.

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5 Responses to “Going parental: Why that stupid New York magazine article “All Joy and No Fun” was the dumbest sh*t I’ve ever read”

  1. Nice to have you back! ..I look forward to your post every week!

  2. Nicely done!! There are many, many joys….and just as many “no joy” moments…..but anyone that blames their children never deserved to have them in the first place.

  3. Having children is a choice not a “natural progression” of life. Procreation is not mandatory people. Animals have babies and when they can feed themselves it’s buy buy little ones Mama is going to find another male to bang and have more babies. This, and maybe unfortunately so, is not acceptable human behavior.

    Maybe I would have children if I could cuddle them until they start telling me what to do, send them on their way, and meet up with them in a bar 25 years later. I don’t knock parenting, I just think people should probably take a better look at themselves before they try to beat the biological clock. Are you capable of handling a child with special needs or chronic or mental illness? And if you’re not sure are you willing to give up anything and everything to try? How bout one that decides to snort your money up their nose or dance on a pole? Maybe people just really like to complain about their lives and kids give them reason to. Do you think just because they’re your offspring they are going to wipe your ass when your old. You should be that lucky.

    In my line of work I get to prescribe medication to parents on the brink of losing it because what they really have done is lost themselves. You can’t get fired from parenting and collect unemployment and you can’t keep the umbilical cord attached for returns. Life takes work and let’s face it, not everyone has the strength and capacity to endure the long. long journey of parenting. It doesn’t end-ever.

  4. Being a brand new parent, I can see how it can become “overwhelming”… but make you miserable? That I can’t see… People make themselves miserable…A beautiful baby/child cannot possibly do that. If your not happy with yourself first, don’t even attempt to have kids….just jump off the nearest bridge first.

  5. The biggest problem in America today is parents.

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