The Swiss cheese decree
If I were King, I’d decree that no restaurant could put Swiss cheese on anything without noting so prominently on the menu, in bold type in at least a 14-point font, and without also notifying the customer placing the order, just in case the customer didn’t see the warning on the menu. Each restaurant or deli would have to tell any customer ordering a sandwich that had Swiss cheese, “By order of the King, I am required to inform you that this item comes with Swiss cheese. Are you sure that you want Swiss cheese?” In my kingdom, no one would ever have to scrape melted Swiss cheese off of a panini after they got home and discovered the offending fromage.
Also, if I were King, olives would only be permitted to be included in a menu item if specifically asked for by a customer. Olives would never appear, without warning, all chopped up in anyone’s salad, in tiny pieces that can’t be fished out.
My kingdom would be a humane, truly just society. So let it be written. So let it be done.
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Hear, hear. I’m all for this decree. However, let me advise your highness of a key point you have missed: if you get a sandwich to go and don’t check it before you drive home, you deserve your Swiss cheese. ALWAYS check.
What’s wrong with Swiss cheese. I like Swiss cheese – and would love it melted on my sandwich.