“Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast,” says Alice (Mia Wasikowska) to the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp). So have I. I believed that it would be impossible for Tim Burton to make a film of Alice in Wonderland that is: 1) not funny, 2) not dark, 3) not adult, 4) dull, even with the help of 3D effects, 5) heavy handed and 6) lacking in imagination. But, curiouser and curiouser, I was wrong. [Read more →]
I got this letter today from the U.S. Census Bureau. Does every residential mailing address in the country get one of these?
My first thought was about the first bolded sentence that informed me that “About one week from now, you will receive a 2010 Census form in the mail.”
Holy crap, are they really spending the money to print and mail these letters to everyone in the country? [Read more →]
Bon Jovi is using the occasion of his latest tour to promote volunteerism, and is apparently playing this video at each of his concerts:
I think it’s obvious that anyone who would willingly attend a Bon Jovi concert is in desperate need of direction as to how to spend his free time, but that video is liable to confuse Mr. Jovi’s fans. [Read more →]
In Raven Stole the Moon, Jenna Rosen walks away from a life that is fractured. Two years ago, her young son drowned in a tragic accident at a resort in Alaska. Her husband seems to have moved on, but Jenna cannot let go of her grief. On the anniversary of their son’s death, they attend a party that turns out to be Jenna’s breaking point. She walks away from the party, gets in her husband’s car and drives… straight through to Bellingham, Washington. She gets on the ferry and heads to her home town of Wrangell, Alaska — and straight into a mystery. [Read more →]
I spent much of my childhood in the Silver State and love it still, which is why I’m proud it can offer a pair of leaders to rival New York’s dynamically dysfunctional duo of Spitzer and Paterson. The more famous is Senator John Ensign, whose prospects of becoming the Republican party’s next Palin dimmed significantly when it was revealed he’d been boinking an aide’s wife. This was bad, not because it showed Ensign’s spouse couldn’t trust him — that’s to be expected in politics — but his own staff couldn’t either…and if they can’t, good luck to folk not on his payroll. It soon got worse, with the FBI investigating how Ensign used his power to help the career of the angry spouse of his former bed mate…and then got kind of goofy, with Ensign admitting he had his parents pay the woman nearly $100,000, because even an elected official in his 50s sometimes needs a hand from Mom and Dad. [Read more →]
Guess who’s back? That’s right! The western hemisphere’s favorite oppressor and comandante — el Comandante, Fidel Castro. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water (off the shores of Havana that is). [Read more →]
Parenthood (Tuesday, NBC, 10PM) — I got to watch the pilot episode of Parenthood (thanks to the free episode on iTunes, a plastic cup of wine and a train ride to see my mother) and I gotta say, I loved it. There was nothing to not love. It was funny, heartwarming and downright wonderful.
The president’s health care initiative has been stalled by politics as usual and partisan rancor. This is a great tragedy, not only because people are literally dying in the streets from lack of access to government-run health care, but because it also gives the impression that Americans are “ungovernable.” Despite what you might have read in Newsweek, it’s only some Americans that are “ungovernable.” I, for one, want to be governed in the worst way; which is why I have so much faith in our current leaders. To that end, I’ve come up with a plan to help the president jump-start what is becoming a stalled presidency: appointing a bunch of new czars. Czars are great, since they don’t require congressional approval and can therefore get started doing the people’s work right away. They can also do pretty much whatever they want, because they don’t have to worry about being accountable to those “ungovernable” American citizens, like my neighbor who shall remain nameless. The president hasn’t yet taken full advantage of his power to appoint czars, so below is just a small sample of the czars I’d like to see him appoint, to bypass all the partisan gamesmanship and really get to work helping us:
Plenty of people have been whining publicly that they can’t afford health care insurance, some of whom I know. I’m talking about fairly young, reasonably healthy men and women with decent jobs who think the government should step in. Consequently, I sought out a solution at the grassroots level to see if I could help, and in the process, avoid a costly federal mandate.
Turns out it was easier to get health insurance than one might think. That’s right, an American who wants health insurance has a sure fire way to get it. Here’s how. [Read more →]
Sometimes you know there just has to be more to a story. Guy Morriss, who played for the Eagles when I was a kid, is now the head football coach at Texas A&M-Commerce, a Division II school. Recently, a couple of his players were arrested on drug charges. The school paper wrote a cover story about it last week. Early in the morning on the day of publication, some of the players went around campus and took every copy and disposed of them. When asked about the theft, Morriss stated that he was proud of his players. [Read more →]
10. “Is Sandra Bullock nominated for All About Steve?”
9. “I’m glad they made it ten Best Picture nominees; before, the show never seemed to drag enough.”
8. “Who’s up for Best Boy?”
7. “I’d like to see those District 9 aliens and those Avatar aliens in a steel cage match.”
6. “I thought Mo’Nique was u’Nique.”
5. “They gotta be fixed; I mean, Paul Blart: Mall Cop deserved something!”
4. “I never realized that the Oscar is just chocolate wrapped in tinfoil.”
3. “I hear that Stanley Tucci is all hands.”
2. “Who cares about Best Picture? My favorite is Best Sound Mixing!”
1. “It’s too bad they don’t have televisions on Pandora.”
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
President John F. Kennedy, a naval officer in World War II, once told a friend how a Navy chief would describe a broken down jeep: “This fucking fucker is all fucked up!”
The phrase “curse like a sailor” has a basis in fact. Sailors do curse.
But it appears that Navy Captain Holly Graf took the tradition a bit too far. As TIME reports, Captain Graf cursed and abused her officers and crew, which led to her being relieved of the command of her ship.
I am a Julia Child fanatic. I feel so cheated that she died before I had the chance to meet her and become her best friend (oh trust me, it would have happened!). Generally I couldn’t care less about the Oscars, but this year Julia is involved (albeit against her wishes). I will be preparing Julia’s Classic Roast Chicken to munch on while we watch the Oscars, followed by her most famous dessert, the Apple Tarte Tatin. Here are a few more of my favorite J.C. menu combinations and recipes.
Enjoy the Oscars tonight and Bon Appetit!
Regardless of whether or not you agree with the stance of the group Atheist Agenda, most of us would recognize and admit the folly of trying to change someone’s mind by insulting them. I think we can all agree that things such as this only make the resistance to their ideas more concrete, opposition more determined, and hurts their overall cause.
Recently I have had nothing but grave news. Two weeks ago I was describing to friends how it was our hour of need as the Norskies defended the peak of the gold medal mountain in the new Cold War, in Vancouver. Then it was just last week that my clarion call was sounded regarding the now 7-year-war against wild animals (10/03/2003 — Never Forget). These two very serious issues were weighing on me heavily. And then I heard that the Earth’s day is now shorter.
The earthquake in Chile changed the axis and sped up the Earth?! What? I’m sorry, come again? Why hasn’t there been much gnashing of teeth and such? The fifth most feasible way to destroy the Earth is to overspin it until it tears itself apart! [Read more →]
A cat known as Miley Cyrus has been charged with violating Switzerland’s animal abuse and cruelty ordinance. The cat is alleged to have committed acts of aggression against another cat, Ms. Cyrus’s companion, known as Hannah Montana.
One of the most important political developments of the last century happened when the US Government decided to take your income taxes directly out of your paycheck, before you get it. This has had the effect of hiding from the citizens just how much they’re really paying, and has helped keep the sheeple quiet about the massive levels of government spending. Instead of April 15th being a dreadful day when you have to cut Uncle Sam a huge check, now many Americans look at the tax deadline as a payday!
At what point does respect become subservience? This is a serious question because much has been made about respect for our leaders, especially at the federal level. Certainly, it is productive to treat elected officeholders with a measure of decorum. Politeness goes a long way toward getting heard. Nonetheless, it may be time for some tough talk and bold action. Of late, certain officials have told some whoppers: absolute, far-out, nowhere near the truth tales. The press somehow manages to let these pass with nary a challenge. The opposition party members seem to get a case of Timid Timmy, too. They let the bald faced balderdash fly into the ether with a look of consternation if they manage that much. [Read more →]
Hollywood is not fair. Anyone who tells you that Hollywood is like a giant engine and the fuel is ideas, and the best ideas are like premium gasoline and if you have a great idea you can charge $3.45 a gallon is lying to you. I know he’s lying to you on account of I’ve seen Hollywood’s dark, rotting underbelly. I’ve seen it, and it’s just revolting.
The USA PATRIOT Act was, in my mind, one of the worst pieces of legislation ever passed, and its abuses are one of the two methods in which I think George W. Bush’s Administration blatantly violated the US Constitution.
But the Wall Street Journal is telling us that the government is now serving up something even worse. Project Einstein:
The current version of the program is widely seen as providing meager protection against attack, but a new version being built will be more robust-largely because it’s rooted in NSA technology. The program is designed to look for indicators of cyber attacks by digging into all Internet communications, including the contents of emails, according to the declassified summary.
Homeland Security will then strip out identifying information and pass along data on new threats to NSA. It will also use threat information from NSA to better identify emerging cyber attacks.
We at PWSBKTW know that kids these days are often coddled. They don’t have to work and their parents give them whatever they want. Some parents, though, understand the importance of pushing their children to have a strong work ethic. They know that their kids need skills that are valued in the marketplace, and they demand that their kids contribute to the family’s income. This can only build character. Even 14-year-old girls need character. Fortunately for one of them, her parents gave her plenty of character, good and hard. As wsbtv.com reports:
The couple bought a minivan from a used car dealership in Eastman, about 140 miles southeast of Atlanta, in March 2008 but has not made a single payment on it… They made their daughter perform sex acts on the dealership’s manager in lieu of making the $281 monthly payments on their minivan [...] It appears the parents may have offered sex with their daughter to as many as six other adults in exchange for money and drugs…
You are walking down the street, minding your own business when a strange vehicle, driven by some kind of diminutive fish pulls up next to you. The vehicle is roughly half your size. You feel a pinprick of pain in your neck, and then, you black out.
You come to, briefly, to discover that you are immobilized, held in a net, and somehow, thousands of feet above your city. It is a disorienting, emotionally distressing moment and you pass out again. [Read more →]
Maybe you’ve heard about that scandalous Republican PowerPoint presentation delivered by Finance Director Rob Bickhart. According to Politico, the presentation breaks donors into two categories:
The small donors who are the targets of direct marketing are described under the heading “Visceral Giving.” Their motivations are listed as “fear;” “Extreme negative feelings toward existing Administration;” and “Reactionary.”
Major donors, by contrast, are treated in a column headed “Calculated Giving.” Their motivations include: “Peer to Peer Pressure”; “access”; and “Ego-Driven.”
The PowerPoint includes caricatures of Democratic leaders as the Joker and Scoobie-Doo. Of course, cable news has gone bananas, and Republican Chairman Michael Steele has repudiated the material.
But should he? I rise in Bickhart’s defense.
I’ve been a Facebook believer for well over a year now. Although some have logged off permanently, I couldn’t be prouder of my obsession. This social networking site has given me the chance to communicate with people that I haven’t seen in a long time. One would argue that there’s a reason why we lose touch with people, or that our three hundred Facebook friends are fake friendships. But frankly, I need all the friends I can get, if they are real friends or merely Facebook friends. [Read more →]
Whereas “Lighthouse” was all about our enlightenment, “Sundown” explored our dark side — temptation. “I can see her lying back in her satin dress in a room where you do what you don’t confess,” sang Gordon Lightfoot in his 1974 hit “Sundown.” The song is all about succumbing to temptation, hence once again revealing the double entendre that the Lost writers are so fond of using in their episode titles. When the sun goes down, man gets tempted by the dark. Why a “satin” dress? Sounds like Satan, don’t it? [Read more →]
As you’re sitting in your office/cubicle right now, I am in Orlando, Florida — traipsing around Disney World trying to find Ariel in her stupid Grotto. What the hell is a Grotto, anyway? I had to google that shit so when I actually arrived on the “Disney Campus,” I sounded like I knew what I was talking about when I asked where to find that red-headed bimbo. I actually Wikipedia’d that shit so a bunch of wanna-be actors in costumes with over-sized craniums wouldn’t think that I was an idiot. So sad.
Jake Adlestein, an American reporter working the police beat for a Japanese newspaper, begins his true crime story with a meeting he took with two members of the yakuza, Japan’s organized crime group.
“Either erase the story, or we will erase you. And maybe your family. But we’ll do them first, so you learn your lesson before you die,” one of the yakuza members said to Adelstein.
Adelstein writes that this seemed like a straightforward proposition. [Read more →]
We’re just a humble blog. We don’t have fact checkers or James Earl Jones to tell people we’re the most trusted name in news. We do have some attractive contributors to be sure, but no one quite as pretty as Anderson Cooper. So, as if you couldn’t tell, we’re not CNN. We don’t have their vast resources or elaborate journalism training. Maybe that’s why the following excerpt from cnn.com, appearing in a story about an apology letter sent by one of the D.C. snipers to a victim, John Gaeta, confuses us:
Gaeta went to the hospital, where doctors told him he had dodged damage to his spine and arteries. He was released in about an hour, making him one of the more fortunate of the D.C. snipers’ 13 confirmed victims, at least 10 of whom died.
Three months ago, I wrote about some of the problems with the global warming debate, not the least of which is that we were only being exposed to one side of the debate, namely, the doom-and-gloom types of arguments. I questioned a couple of assertions being made by the anthropogenic global warming crowd, and concluded the piece with the observation that we never hear about any of the possible benefits of the Earth heating up.
Thanks to the implosion of the Green-as-the-new-Red movement, due to the Climategate scandal, my point is finally being considered by the mainstream!
Flying is now officially more dangerous than playing with killer whales. A child directed traffic at JFK airport on February 17th, because the kid had a day off from school and dad thought it would be fun to have his kid give instructions to planes about when and where they could land and take off. Yeah, dad was right there, telling the kid what to say, so maybe everything was still as safe as usual. Probably the real reason everything was safe as usual is Sully was still in the air, somewhere, maybe thousands of miles away, maybe even on the ground that day, but still a commerical pilot. He kept us safe while that kid directed air traffic, somehow, because he’s Sully. It’s what he does. But today it was announced that hero pilot Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger has retired. We might have survived the kids playing at air-traffic controller with Sully in the skies keeping us safe. But with Sully moving on to knitting classes, or fishing, or whatever he’s going to do in retirement, the flying public doesn’t stand a chance. Why have you forsaken us, oh great Sully? What have we done to displease you?
