Top ten signs the Easter Bunny hates you
Posted on March 29th, 2010 by Bob Sullivan
10. Instead of grass in your Easter basket, he uses poison ivy.
9. He claims he’s “as mad as a March hare” at you.
8. No Lindt. Just Hershey’s.
7. You wake up with the head of a baby chick under your blanket.
6. He’s always dissin’ your peeps.
5. He colors all your eggs using lead paint.
4. You get death threats signed simply “E.B.”
3. He hides twelve eggs and three land mines.
2. Instead of a basket, he uses a bedpan.
1. Those aren’t Raisinets.
Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.
Bob Sullivan is the author of the 1979 cult classic Clonus (also known as Parts: The Clonus Horror), starring Peter Graves, Keenan Wynn and Dick Sargent, which was lovingly sent up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and was the basis for the 2005 DreamWorks' Michael Bay film The Island, starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything is published on Mondays.
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