10. Instead of grass in your Easter basket, he uses poison ivy.

9. He claims he’s “as mad as a March hare” at you.

8. No Lindt. Just Hershey’s.

7. You wake up with the head of a baby chick under your blanket.

6. He’s always dissin’ your peeps.

5. He colors all your eggs using lead paint.

4. You get death threats signed simply “E.B.”

3. He hides twelve eggs and three land mines.

2. Instead of a basket, he uses a bedpan.

1. Those aren’t Raisinets.
 

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