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Lisa reads: Little Bird of Heaven by Joyce Carol Oates

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I have always loved Joyce Carol Oates’ writing.  I love her combination of long, flowing sentences and short, choppy fragments. Little Bird of Heaven is lovely to read, even when the story is heartbreaking.

Krista Diehl’s family was fine before “the trouble” came.  Her father, Eddy, ran a construction company.  A handsome man, he was well-known around town as a bit of a flirt and a bit of a drinker.  Her mother, Lucille, a stay at home mom, her teenaged brother, Ben.  A happy family until trouble came along in the form of Zoe Kruller.  Zoe was small-town beautiful — she had an exotic name, she was everyone’s favorite at the ice cream shop, she sang with a little rock band on Saturday summer nights at the town bandstand.  When she is found murdered — strangled in her bed — the prime suspects are her estranged husband, Delray, and her lover, Eddy Diehl. [Read more →]

A Short History of Groundhog Day

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On February 2, it is customary in Canada and the United States to celebrate an annual tradition wherein we allow a chubby burrowing rodent to forecast the weather. This is an important ritual, but not for the reason that many people think.

Many believe this “holiday” can be traced back to an ancient pagan ritual called Imbolc, which was duly adopted by early Christians and turned into Candlemas. (This means Mass of the Candles, in which the clergy would perform ear candling on the most hairy-eared and disgusting member of each parish, in a metaphorical recreation of the time when Jesus performed the Ear Candling of Jergomethia, cleaning the aural canals of a score of waxy hermits, and curing them of their deafness.) [Read more →]

We need to rediscover an old way of being

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One usually hears Judaism, Christianity, and Islam referred to as “the three great monotheistic religions.” Apparently, however, that noted deity Yahweh would disagree: “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; you shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20, 2-3).

That second verse is a simple imperative; there really is no way of reading it other than literally. Yahweh acknowledges the existence of other gods besides himself. [Read more →]

Obama SOARS on Rasmussen!

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Read it and WEEP, Righties! From the low on December 22nd this is a recovery of eighty-one percent! Give or take. Hey, what is a rounding error among friends? Or enemies? Of course there are some complications. [Read more →]

Lauren likes TV: Pawners and pickers

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Pawn Stars/American Pickers (Monday, History Channel) While the rest of America was tuning in to the NBC late-night television Conan/Leno debacle, in addition to watching the funniest late night host of them all, Chelsea Handler, I was watching my other late-night guilty pleasures… on the History channel. Uh huh, you heard me correctly. It all started one night with Pawn Stars. How I came across it, I do not know… but thank goodness I did because I love it.  [Read more →]

A ford in our future?

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When Governor David Paterson appointed Rep. Kirsten E. Gillibrand as New York’s junior U.S. Senator last year to replace Hillary Clinton, most New Yorkers had never heard of the upstate Congresswoman. They were just glad the ordeal was over. The selection process, which included a lengthy and undignified public dangling of Caroline Kennedy, was a disaster for both the unqualified Ms. Kennedy and the inept Governor. Now the power elites are scrambling to keep Gillibrand in office in the face of a new challenge: Harold E. Ford Jr., lately of Tennessee, who has suddenly discovered that he is an ambitious New York pol. [Read more →]

Bad sports, good sports: Bryant McKinnie is dismissed from the Pro Bowl

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The NFL Pro Bowl is a waste of time. This is not a revolutionary statement, by the way. Most All-Star games are less than thrilling events, but the Pro Bowl is the worst of the lot. The rules are different, there is very little real hitting, and the game is at the end of the season, when no one really cares anymore. Even the players don’t seem to care, judging by the number of players that beg out of the game every year. Still, being selected to the game is an honor, and it is fair to expect the players to show at least a little bit of interest in the festivities. That message does not seem to have made it to Bryant McKinnie of the Minnesota Vikings, who was dismissed from the Pro Bowl on Saturday. [Read more →]

Avatar visits troops in Africa

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I keep forgetting that it is winter for most of you… as it is amazing here. However, I am not gloating because I know it will be God-awful come summer. God-awful.

Let’s see, what else has been happening on this fun extravaganza known as Africa? Oh, ummm, have any of you ever heard of some movie called Avatar? I hear it’s pretty big right now. We don’t get any commercials here and I don’t watch any news so I have no clue what is happening back home. In fact, I hear there is some big event happening next Sunday… some kind of bowl game or something? Anyway, they showed the movie here yesterday and are showing it again tonight. I wasn’t able to see it yesterday as I had two final papers to write… I know… war is hell.

Oh and Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez, some older actor guy, and some older producer guy all came here. [Read more →]

Top ten answers to the question, “How cold is it?”

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10. It’s so cold, people are hugging Ted Williams’s head just to keep warm

9. It’s so cold, aquariums no longer really need the glass

8. It’s so cold, flashers are running up to women in Central Park and just describing themselves

7. It’s so cold, it would be colder than Glenn Beck’s heart — if he had one

6. It’s so cold, the Statue of Liberty decided to hold her torch under her robe

5. It’s so cold, Rod Blagojevich was spotted with his hands in his own pockets

4. It’s so cold, all Sarah Palin could see from Alaska was more snow

3. It’s so cold, people are hanging around the set of The View just for the artificial warmth

2. It’s so cold, a temperature was actually recorded that was colder than the shoulder Tiger Woods’s wife is giving him

1. It’s so cold, Al Gore came out in favor of global warming
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

The teacher’s union strikes again

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My headline is a more accurate representation of the information about President Obama’s plans to overhaul No Child Left Behind, as presented in the New York Times.

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