environment & nature

Snow days: Not as much fun for adults

Weren’t snow days wonderful when you were a kid? I can’t remember a sound from my childhood more beautiful than a phone ringing at 5:00am and the subsequent disappointment in my mother’s voice as she grumbled to my dad those seven magical words: “The kids are home today. This blows.” I hate to say it but now that I’m 30, snow days kinda suck.

I am certainly not complaining about the fact that I don’t have to work today. But wow, am I bored. It has been snowing for twenty-eight hours and I’m starting to think that it’s never going to stop. When I was little, a snow storm of this size wouldn’t have phased me; now, I’m convinced that I’m doomed to be killed by a Yeti, my lifeless remains discovered days later by a Saint Bernard. When I was a child, I would have watched “Ghostbusters” and eaten SpaghettiOs all afternoon; today, I’m stuck watching “RuPaul’s Drag Race” until Oprah comes on and the only lunch I’ve had consisted of the five pieces of turkey pepperoni I ate before remembering it’s a Lenten Friday. I can’t even pray away my meat-eatin’ guilt because none of the churches in my little Polish neighborhood have English masses during the day. That’s how pathetic this snow day has become: I’m disappointed that I can’t go to church.

So how am I coping? By nesting like a mofo, dear readers. I’ve already cleaned my entire apartment and am currently cooking two loaves of soda bread and one big pot of collard greens, forever putting to bed the age-old question of whether Irish girls from Jersey can cook soul food. As it turns out, we can. I’ve also had a lot of coffee today. That’s probably pretty apparent.

And now I’m going to get my Vonnegut on and abruptly end this post with a picture of my snowy front stoop:

Pretty, oui?
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4 Responses to “Snow days: Not as much fun for adults”

  1. Snow days still have one benefit: sleep (and no amount of aging can take that away).

  2. You would rather be at work than watching “Rupaul’s Drag Race”? Seriously? Have you seen the “Snatch Game” episode yet? Pandora Boxx as Carol Channing was riveting television.

  3. Wasn’t that amazing? There’s something about Pandora Boxx that I just don’t trust, though.

    Don’t get me wrong: As I said, I have no complaints about not being at work today. Also, I love me some RuPaul’s Drag Race; those ladies are the wind beneath my wings. But I don’t recommend watching a marathon of the show, even if it is the only thing on tv. There is only so much drama and soft lighting a girl can take.

  4. It hardly ever snows here in Portland. I do love the way that everything takes on a somewhat supernatural glow when it does though. How can it be overcast and I have this need for sunglasses? Last year I was literally snowed in for a week. I WASHED AND IRONED MY CURTAINS! (including the one for the shower). Email me if u get this, mofo. xanderpdx@yahoo.com

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