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Going Parental: The GoodNite Lite

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Up until a few weeks ago we had a Safety 1st Grip ‘n Twist Door Knob Cover on my 3-year-old’s doorknob so she couldn’t get out of her room at night. For me, it was the fear of her roaming around our apartment in the middle of the night and hurting herself, opening the front door, finding her way to the knife drawer — normal things we parents worry about — that led me to put it on her door. Once we put her in a bed, the thought of her having free rein in our apartment caused me complete anxiety. I’m Jewish, what do you want from me?

Anyway, a few weeks ago she said, “I want the white off my door. I’m a big girl. My cousins don’t have white on their doors.” My girlfriend and I looked at each other and said ya know what? She’s right. She is a big girl. She’s been potty trained forever, she makes it through the night without wetting the bed (98% of the time). Let’s “take off the white.”

We took off the white.

I have never yelled, “Get back in your room!” more than I have in the past three weeks. It’s unreal. Every five minutes, “I have to make a pee-pee,” (LIE) “I need another hug and kiss,” (MANIPULATION) “I need a sip of water,” (ANOTHER LIE). It had grown into a full blown epidemic. It would go through the evening, up until it got to the point where one night I think she woke me up every hour, on the hour, to make a pee-pee and one time, the little shit woke me up to fix her blanket and line up her babies because they had fallen out of their obsessive compulsive line in her bed. That was it. I was done!

“If you don’t stay in your room, the white is going back on the door!”

Imagine the loudest, shrieking, piercing high-pitched scream that you possibly can, and then magnify that by about one billion and that almost explains the screams that came from this child’s tiny little mouth. We couldn’t win. Nothing was working.

And then… it happened. Parents magazine finally gave me a reason to give a shit that it existed. It told me about The GoodNite Lite. Fine, it told my girlfriend about it. I don’t read that fucking magazine.

The GoodNite Lite is genius. You set the time that you want it to turn on at night — it is illuminated as a blue moon, indicating to your child that it is night time and they are not allowed out of bed. You then set the time that the moon changes into a vibrant yellowy-orange sun that indicates to them that they are now allowed to get out of bed.

We ordered it and used it last night for the first time. The kid loved it. AND — It worked! She didn’t get out of bed once. I even heard her yell this morning, “The sun is on, I’m getting out of bed!” I swear I’m going to send the inventor of this thing a lifetime supply of Godiva.

This is the best $35 I have ever spent. Ever.

And we weren’t even douche bags about it. We set it to go on at 7am this morning — a totally reasonable time for her to wake up. Because yeah, obviously I wanted to set it for 9am. But I didn’t! Good parenting right there. Feel free to take notes, people.

Going Parental appears every Thursday. The GoodNite Lite appears whenever you want it to. It’s a beautiful thing.

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13 Responses to “Going Parental: The GoodNite Lite”

  1. Hahahhah! love it! i’m sure everyone is taking notes from you! seriously people, this is a great buy! get it for your kids that get out of bed at night! there is even a 30 day money back guarantee if you don’t feel like its working!

  2. If this really works for you long term I will be ridiculously impressed and may invest in one myself!

  3. so happy you wrote this! owen just switched to his “big boy bed” and has come to visit with us at all random times in the night. my other kids didn’t do this so i was trying to figure out a concrete way to tell him when to stay in his room. i just may have to invest. notes taken.

  4. Boshnack – always the pessimist – meanwhile her COUSIN who she based this whole “taking the white off” on gets out of his bed 10 times a night?! Jerk!

    Strony – Best investment ever. We were going out of our minds. So far, so good.

    I promise to keep you ALL updated.

  5. So this thing is just a novelty? A change in light color is going to prevent her from getting out of bed. Like hell it is. She knew damn well, all those times she got out of bed for “hugs” and “water” and “pee pee” that she wasn’t supposed to. She’s no dummy! But you are if you think this is gonna work forever!

  6. I hate you Lauren.

  7. laughing at both you and lauren, jack! jake gets out of his bed once in a blue moon, but yesterday and today he’s killing me. he wouldn’t even stay in his bed for NAPTIME today, and has been so up my ass today that he’s literally crowding my shadow. right now he’s napping in my bed. once we move alex into his (their) room this weekend, we may need to buy this thing. it’s not going to go down easy, that’s for sure. wish us luck.

  8. Love the post, if I can be of any assistance or provide tips and tricks let me know!

    All the best,

    Adam Nelson
    Good Nite Lite

  9. By the time Cade needs one, Jess will be spending her nights at the ballerina bar you frequent. So I can skip spending $35 and you can give me yours. Then I can prove that this is a bunch of horse shit. My kids don’t fall for anything, EVER. Game On.

  10. Adam – thank you for your comment. This product really is great. My daughter is one of those kids that can be rigid and stick to a schedule, especially when incentivized by a Nite Lite like this that gives her an indication of when it is acceptable to get out of bed. She finds it to be completely fascinating. Luckily, and unlike that dumbass Heather, my kid will fall for this! So thank you!! You can send all royalty checks to my home address. :)

  11. Thanks, this really is a classic conditioning model…since young children can’t tell time it is easier to use a visual cue for them.

    The fact that as a parent we sometimes use time to teach patience this is how it works. For example ever tell your kids give you 5 minutes and we can go when you only needed 5 seconds? You want them to learn patience but instead they start to learn time, hence why most kids after 5 seconds say things like can we get up now…how about now? So setting the SUN to illuminate when they currently wake up I.e. 5am they will instantly get the concept. Most kids at this age love a job, when I was younger I was the remote control so it is only fair I pass the baton to my kids, I tell them it is your job to wake me when the SUN comes on…every day I pushed the time back several minutes since they are looking for the SUN…I ultimately know they will only wait patiently for 5 maybe 10 minutes at time so they wait for the SUN. I let them know when the MOON is on everyone is resting so if you are not tired just know everyone else is so until the SUN you have to be quite. To be honest I didn’t care if my kids stayed up all night waiting for the SUN I just didn’t want them waking us until the SUN came on.

    Some parents use the MOON the same way you can use the SUN…kids that go to bed late, use the MOON the same way since you can program them until you get their bedtime back on track.I.e 9pm to 8:45pm to 8:30pm. Nothing beats making the MOON the bad cop; “Sorry the MOON says time for bed”

    Again, I truly appreciate the support.

    All the best,

  12. If it comes with handcuffs or a laser beam motion detector, I’m in, otherwise…

  13. UPDATE – It’s still working. During the week we have it set for 7am and if she wakes up before the “sun comes on” she reads in her room and plays until it does. On the weekend we pushed it to 7:30 – because yes, we’re selfish bastards – and she didn’t wake us until almost 8am both days because she’s gotten used to sleeping a little later and relaxing in her bed when she wakes up instead of jumping right out. So all of you haters can eat it! The GoodNite Lite is the shit!

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