10. The only noisemaker involves the host and a can of beans

9. All Macarena, all the time!

8. When you come through the front door, you spot a large table and a 10,000-piece jigsaw puzzle

7. The only toast all evening involves actual bread

6. It breaks up at 11:45

5. Everyone is speaking Klingon

4. The “champagne” is really just ginger ale and Mentos

3. It’s just you and three Zhu Zhu Hamsters

2. It’s February 12th

1. You’re still waiting for your ball to drop

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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