10. The jack-o-lantern is an orange balloon with a Magic Marker Happy Face.

9. The Wolfman is just a shirtless hairy guy.

8. The scariest movie they could find to show is Mariah Carey’s Glitter.

7. It’s February.

6. Sexiest Costume goes to an Ed Asner lookalike.

5. Bobbing for Apples segues into Hunting for Uncle Sid’s Contact Lens.

4. Most of the guests are dressed as their favorite Certified Public Accountants.

3. All the decorations say “HAPPY,” then “BIRTHDAY” is crossed out and “HALLOWEEN” is written above it.

2. Best Costume goes to a guy in a sheet.

1. Instead of candy: leftover meatloaf.
 

Bob Sullivan’s Top Ten Everything appears every Monday.

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