We at PWSBKTW were once young ourselves, so we appreciate juvenile pranks as much as anyone. We’re not too old to remember how fun it is to steal a bicycle. And we can’t tell you how terribly we miss those innocent days of our childhood when we would douse someone with rubbing alcohol and set them on fire if they stopped us from stealing a bicycle. Wait, that wasn’t us. That was Matthew Bent, Denver Jarvis, Steven Shelton, Jesus Mendez, and Jeremy Jarvis.

Five teenagers were charged with aggravated battery Tuesday for allegedly dousing a 15-year-old with rubbing alcohol and setting him on fire because he stopped someone from stealing his father’s bicycle.

Aggravated battery isn’t enough for those of us at PWSBKTW. We “aggravated” our knee the other week. Being set on fire somehow seems worse. “Mendez was also charged with attempted second-degree murder because authorities say he flicked the lighter.” Before we pass judgment, some might note that the accused are kids, just children, really — boys will be boys, you know. We’re thinking about a different boy:

Michael Brewer was hospitalized with burns on more than three-quarters of his body after the attack at a Deerfield Beach apartment complex Monday. […] He was burned on his torso and arms, sheriff’s spokesman Jim Leljedal said. Family members said most of his hair, including his eyelashes, had also been burned off.

Some might be saying that teens who douse people with flammable liquids and set them on fire deserve a second chance, but we wouldn’t know because we can’t hear anything over the sound of burning flesh. Anyone who sets a person on fire should be killed this week.

About Scott Stein

Tags: on the law, people who should be killed this week //