Dear Hollywood and any celebrities who signed the petition calling for Roman Polanski to be freed:

Hi there, it’s me, Scott. You don’t know me, but I watch Entourage, so I feel like I know you.

Anyway, look, we out here in not-Hollywood know you lead really interesting lives. We know that you drive cooler cars, travel to more countries, and drink more expensive wine than we do. We don’t hold it against you. 

You make the money you make. Millions of people pay to see your movies or television shows or whatever it is you do, and you are rich because of it. Good for you — you’ve made it in a really tough business and you help to generate lots of money for the corporations that produce your movies.

People are fascinated by your personal lives, your work, your hobbies. You get lots of attention. So much attention, that you don’t have to wait for tables at exclusive restaurants or on lines to get into the club. We can live with that.

You have a platform for your political views — politicians want your endorsements and you can champion whatever causes you like and reach lots of people. We don’t all always prefer that you use your fame in this way, particularly when your cause is political, but it’s your right. As long as you’re not too obnoxious about it, we try not to hold it against you. Many people like your movies and TV shows and songs enough to look past differences of opinion. And when you do some good for a charitable cause, you’re called humanitarians and praised in the media.

We hope you realize that you have it pretty good. You win awards just for doing your job, people are honored just to have met you — some hang pictures of you in their homes, like you’re the Pope or something — and you make more money than many entire business operations. People cater to you and treat you like you’re special.

We know that being treated like everyone else isn’t something you’re used to. And we promise not to make a habit of it — you can still get tables at exclusive restaurants without waiting in line. But what you can’t do is rape children. We’re sorry about that.

It doesn’t matter how rich you are, or talented, or famous. You don’t get to rape children just because you make movies. Even if they’re really good movies. Even if they’re really, really good movies. If you rape a child, or an adult for that matter, you are subject to the same laws as the rest of us. When your friends do it, so are they.  Defending their right to rape and avoid legal consequences is not the sort of thing most of us can look past. It makes us not want to treat you like you’re special. It’s bad for business. So stop it already.

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Tags: art & entertainment, on the law // 3 Comments »