Going parental: Get off your ass and parent
As promised in an earlier post I’m going to start each blog with a random personal fact about myself. Here goes: I hate taking my daughter to parks; public parks, private parks, hell even your backyard swing-set makes me mental. You know why? Because 90% of the time, the parents of the kids at the park playing (being mean, telling my daughter she’s too little to play or just plain acting like little douche nuggets) are sitting on a bench on the phone and not paying attention to their kids. Occasionally they’ll yell, “Johnny, are you being a good boy?” And without waiting a second for an answer, they’re already back to their brainless conversation with their friend about what an asshole said friend’s married boyfriend is and how “he needs to leave that bitch already.”
Yes. That happened.
Seriously, get off your ass and parent. Not only is your kid getting away with acting like Veruca Salt, but your lack of interest simply encourages them to act out until you notice them. They’re begging for your attention. I know, because I have caught myself doing the same thing. I’ll be sitting at the park, on a bench, half paying attention and realize that my daughter has been trying to get my attention for the last five minutes. It only took one or two times of this happening for me to realize that while she wanted her independence in the playground, she needed to know that I was watching her, cheering her on and most importantly making sure she was safe (from your obnoxious kids that don’t share).
It’s rudementary, and most of you get it. The rest of you need some work. I know I’m not an expert, but I’ve spent enough time at parks, play gyms and around friends’ kids to see what’s age appropriate, what’s tired and cranky behavior, and what’s just plain acting out. If your kid is acting out because your head is up your ass when you should be parenting, then that’s your problem. But if my kid gets caught in the crossfire of your kid acting out, it becomes my problem. Trust me, you don’t want your kid to become my problem. I’m really not that nice when my daughter is being mistreated.
So there you have it. When you’re not parenting, I’m secretly threatening your kids. Get off your ass and parent. Do it for your kids. Do it for my kid. Do it so I don’t end up hurling a wiffle ball at their head when you’re not looking.
Going Parental appears every Thursday. Try to hide your enthusiasm.
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Lovesss the article, especially considering that you and I both know that I will most be the parent that plays in the park with their kid! Playing in the park with my kid >>>>> small talk on the bench!
*most likely be the parent.
you get the drift
I particularly love when a parent brings their child into the exam room and forgets to parent while their child has their head in the biohazard bin. I have a 3 strike rule. I will kindly ask the child to sit in the seat 3 times before I threaten them with “shots.” I find this usually wakes everyone up pretty quickly.
And can I add… especially when you bring your older kid to an event intended for younger kids. There were a number of older siblings at my daughter’s pre-k end-of-year picnic and all of the pre-k kids were playing nicely — but there were a handful of older siblings pushing them out of the way to get up the stairs first or down the slide first or whatever. Not one parent of the older kids intervened. Rather, I reprimanded three different “big” kids to get them from trampling a slew of 5-year-olds!