Don’t let it bring you down: castles
As I was searching through the Internet today, trying to find something to write about in this virtual wasteland of interesting, I came across this headline: “A Castle at the White House.”
“Intriguing,” I thought, at first nonplussed. I’d always wished our country had castles, like other countries, but was I willing to turn a blind eye to an act of such frivolity in this bleak economic time? Was I willing to ignore the anachronism? Was I willing to fund this castle with your tax dollars?
I was.
Building a castle, I thought, would provide a whimsical quality that our nation’s capital has heretofore lacked. Not to mention many jobs for the castle-builders who’ve recently had to close their doors. A castle, I thought, is perhaps just what this nation needs. Would it have a moat? Of course it would. A big door that makes a clicking noise when it comes down over the moat? Certainly. A dragon? A rescue dragon.
“Yes,” I thought, “this is an idea I can get behind.” I then clicked on the link to the article, thrilled to read what was to surely be an exciting turn of events in our boring, castle-less nation.
Much to my chagrin, this is the image with which I was greeted:
This is either the worst castle in the whole world or somebody’s idea of a big fat joke. Where’s the moat? The clicking door? The dragon? How is that canvas roof going to shield us from arrows? Why are there so many viable pathways to the keep? What is the thing in the lower left? Is it a punching bag? What is the need for the steering wheel? I’m not sure if this castle could sustain a heavy storm or rain and wind, let alone a heavy storm of cannonballs. What is it even made of? Wood? What, did we run out of cloth and tissue paper? I just hope the European press doesn’t get wind of this. This thing looks about as stately and intimidating as baby new year.
This is not the image of the castle I had in mind for the United States of America. We need to go back to the drawing board. Maybe check out the Wikipedia page about castles and go from there. But I do applaud the idea, Obam’. Its foresight is admirable and its boldness is inspiring. You just kind of let this one slip away from you.
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And Marks &Spenser! We need a Marks & Spenser!
no no no, Top Shop. we need Top Shop.
Okay – so there is no moat it’s not really a castle – but it looks like fun. I wish I has one of these in my backyard growing up. Come to think of it… I wish I had grass in my backyard too.
Not only is there no moat, but I don’t think that platform could support a cauldron of scalding oil. So what’re you gonna pour on the kids/invading barabarians storming the castle?
That’s a punching bag for midget boxers on the left there?