Top ten reasons Obama’s next Commerce Secretary nominee will have to withdraw
Posted on March 2nd, 2009 at 8:30 am by Bob Sullivan
10. Turns out he once beat a man to death with a sockful of nickels
9. Feels it’s a bad career move to have his name associated in any way with the U.S. economy
8. Known among his personal staff as “Mr. Hands”
7. Decided he just couldn’t work with Obama after reading the details of Obama’s proposed plan to adopt a Portuguese water dog
6. Revealed he once tried to peddle his influence directly on eBay
5. Hasn’t paid his taxes since the first Darren on Bewitched
4. Once shared a bathroom stall with Larry Craig
3. Told that the position involved lots of math, and he hates math!
2. Caught with his actual hand in a real cookie jar
1. Finally realized there just isn’t any commerce left!
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