January 7, 2009
I dream I am hanging out near the indoor swimming pool at a Jewish Community Center. Actor David McCallum is at the pool chatting amiably with anyone who approaches him. He explains that he often comes to the JCC on the weekends. Meanwhile, I have to leave to attend a final rehearsal for a musical that opens at the JCC that night. I don’t know the lines or the songs, but the first number choreography involves tipping your top hat and dragging yourself around the floor in a circle.

July 12, 2008
I dream I audition for Play it again, Sam at the Jewish Y. I put my name on the list, see there are five people ahead of me, and figure I have time to go to the bathroom. The people recommend I don’t, but I say “the bathroom is right there; I can take care of this thing.” I am followed in by a teenage boy and a teenage girl. I say to the teenage girl, “You know, this is a men’s bathroom, don’t you?” She doesn’t care, so I tell her to get the fuck out of there. She says I should be ashamed of myself for saying “fuck” to a teenage girl. I say “I’m not ashamed of saying ‘fuck’ to a teenage girl who hangs out in men’s rooms.”

June 12, 1998
I dream I am working at a combination university/Jewish Community Center. My nemesis finds two beautiful Jewish women, convinces us all to get naked, fill up a steam shovel with cold cream, and take turns giving each other rides. After awhile, my nemesis slips away and brings the staff of the university/JCC to watch me frolic with the women. Once again, my nemesis makes me look bad.

About Fred Siegel

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