Groundhog bites Mayor Bloomberg in defense of freedom
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg was bitten by a groundhog yesterday (it’s about as cheesy a local newscast as you’re likely to see). Note what an ass Bloomberg is on the video, trying to be funny as he threatens to cut zoo funding. And take some pleasure in how delightfully uncomfortable he seems when holding up the animal that has bitten him.
Sources close to the groundhog tell me it was no accident. It seems that this groundhog — Charles G. Hogg, affectionately known as ‘Staten Island Chuck’ — enjoys activities that Bloomberg has banned or plans to ban. Like smoking. And eating fatty foods. And putting a bit of salt in his soup. And touring the UN on a class trip. And bringing a bicycle on the subway (a little groundhog bike). And taking a photograph without a permit. It’s a long, growing list, but Chuck is a wild and crazy rodent with lots of ‘vices’ that Bloomberg will eventually get around to banning. So Chuck bit the meddling bastard.
The below video is shorter. Sadly, neither video captured any blood or screams of pain, but if you watch carefully, you can see the bite (because you have that kind of time). A still picture is here.
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There are better reasons not to tour the UN: like its total irrelevance and obsolescence, and class trips only dignify its self-importance for no good reason.
But one way or another, the meddling bastard Bloomberg needs biting.
I saw the still picture of his bandaged finger in the paper but the video is great. I just wish the bite was more obvious… like a yelp from the mayor or something! That’s what you get for cutting the budget to Chuck’s zoo!
At the time its groundhog was biting Mayor Michael Bloomberg, the Staten Island Zoo was running a Blood Drive.
Marmota monax, Mother Nature’s little phlebotomist.
See
http://notionscapital.wordpress.com/2009/02/03/blood-thirsty-beast-bites-bloomberg/
New York Post is having fun with this, too:
http://www.nypost.com/seven/02042009/postopinion/editorials/groundhog_day__lingering_questions_153423.htm