Things My Roommates Must Think or Believe to Be True
“I wonder who made this mess with the same kind of food I just cooked.”
“This is probably mine.”
“My room is where dishes go.”
“It is the future and ice trays refill themselves.”
“Our TV has a sensor on it that knows when you leave the room.”
“Dishes are transported from the sink to the dishwasher through a magical process no one can fully understand.”
“Everyone likes dance music.”
“I wonder where these paper towels always come from.”
“I don’t know why people buy laundry detergent when they can just use the bottles that grow out of the laundry machine for free.”
“When you brush crumbs onto the ground they disappear.”
“If I take only one beer from you every day, when it comes down to it, it’s really like I’m not taking any.”
“We live in such a good neighborhood that we don’t need to lock our doors.”
“Why does the trash always disappear on Monday?”
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Ahhh, roommates. I don’t miss them.
Bwahahahaha! Tanks for the laughs.
I think Kate could have written this about her children.
Things my children must believe to be true: $ grows on trees, the gas tank is always magically filled etc…
Ahh yes. I had one who tried to gargle with something of mine that was not gargleable and blamed me for it. I still think of her and wish her ill.
…toothpaste comes from the toothpaste fairy…
No one in your immediate family has a sarcastic sense of humor. I wonder where you get your’s from?
yell-laughing is the only way to laugh
One beer a day is almost nothing, thats what I drink. Doesn’t even count.