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Circumcision Jewish Conspiracy Theory

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Inside Higher Ed recently published Why More Colleges Want Jewish Students. Jews send their kids to college at a high rate and the kids are generally smart and good students and participate in campus activities. Schools apparently believe that increasing the Jewish student population can improve the school’s overall academic standing and environment. The article examines whether this is a welcome trend that embraces a favorable stereotype or whether something more troubling is going on.

All of this might have you wondering, why is it that Jews do so well in school and are so smart? Fortunately for you, I have the answer. It all comes down to circumcision. You heard me.

Some people argue that the Jews have a genetic intelligence advantage, which accounts for their disproportionate representation in medicine and law and their achievements in business. Some argue that they have a culture shaped by history that emphasizes success and education, which accounts for their disproportionate representation in medicine and law and their achievements in business. And of course, there are all sorts of sinister conspiracy theories that try to account for their disproportionate representation in medicine and law and their achievements in business.

However, the Circumcision Jewish Conspiracy Theory is the real explanation that accounts for their disproportionate representation in medicine and law and their achievements in business. It’s simple, really. As you may know, some people oppose male circumcision. One of their claims against it is that it decreases sensitivity and sexual enjoyment for the man. If this is at all true, I have trouble believing that there is a major difference. As a circumcised man myself, I can’t imagine sex being much more enjoyable than it already is. But if it is true, even barely, it explains everything.

Circumcision leads to decreased enjoyment of sex, though not decreased enough to prevent the propagation of the genetic lines of those circumcised. But it does decrease sexual pleasure just enough to allow men to focus on something other than getting laid, at least part of the time. The ability to think about something other than sex for even a nano-second is probably most valuable in the hormone-saturated teen years, which explains why Jews excel in school in comparison to their circumcision-deprived peers, and why so many end up going to medical school. Achievement during these years has lifelong ramifications. Over the generations this slight edge in ability to think of something other than sex has been the cause of the Jewish cultural valuing of education and the achievements of the Jews as a people, a slow, cumulative consequence of thousands of years of cut penises and very, very slightly reduced sexual pleasure.

If the theory is correct, then we would expect to see increased rates of achievement from nations and ethnic groups that reflects their percentage of circumcised men and the percentage of male circumcision for past generations. Someone should do a study.

One objection could be that male circumcision leaves out half the population — women. But it doesn’t. Less voracious sexual appetites among men would also leave women with more time and energy to focus on concerns other than sex.

And, to the extent that patriarchal societies were guided in intellectual and economic achievement by men, because women were excluded from these activities, we would expect male circumcision to have a disproportionate overall impact on the group’s achievement levels as a whole. Even in societies where women are no longer excluded, the cultural pattern would have been established long ago, when women were excluded.

Thus, we see that the effects of male circumcision reaches down through the centuries. This poses challenges for other groups, who might wish to emulate the Jewish success that was caused by male circumcision. Even if these groups begin to approach the near 100% circumcision rate of Jews, it would be many generations before the groups reaped the circumcision windfall.

Scott Stein is editor of When Falls the Coliseum and runs the humor site STEINLINES. He is author of the novels Lost and Mean Martin Manning. His short fiction, book reviews, and essays have been published in the Philadelphia Inquirer, The G.W. Review, Liberty, National Review,, and Art Times. He is a professor of English at Drexel University. Scott tweets @sstein.

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12 Responses to “Circumcision Jewish Conspiracy Theory”

  1. Just by the by, Charles Murray has an interesting piece on Jewish intelligence in Commentary not so long ago:

  2. By this theory US Americans, who are very largely circumcised, should do better academically than the rest of the English-speaking world, who tried it, found it didn’t do any good, and have pretty much given it up. (You seem to be confusing “almost all Jews are circumcised” with “only Jews are circumcised”, a fairly elementary mistake of logic.) Numerically, the populations that circumcise males are Muslims, US Americans, Filipinos, South Koreans, Jews, tribal Africans, eastern Polynesians and aboriginal Australians. Want to revise your theory?

    As for sexual pleasure, you seem to be confusing quality with quantity. By removing some 20,000 fine-touch specialised nerves, circumcision alters sexuality in a way that has been compared with going colour-blind. Studies that claim to find no difference do so by ignoring the role of the foreskin itself.

  3. The theory is partially correct in the sense that circumcision was designed to limit sexual enjoyment.

    However, I find the genetic and cultural theories far more likely. In the USA most men are circumcised regardless of religion so the theory makes no sense.

  4. Turn on your (not-so-subtle) sarcasm meter. Oh no, a joke has made a “fairly elementary mistake of logic” (actually, it didn’t). Even were the “theory” serious rather than playful, it does not mistake “All Jews are circumsized” with “only Jews are circumcised.” It assumes that Jews were circumcized at higher rates earlier in history than other groups, which established cultural patterns that have had long-lasting consequences, giving Jews an advantage over other groups that have only caught up to Jews in circumcision rates relatively recently (if indeed that’s true. I don’t usually do actual research for jokes). That assumption — pretty obvious in the piece — answers Frederic’s objection as well. If it were a theory and not a joke.

  5. I should have assumed I’d get some of the anti-circumcision crowd responding to this post. I’m not interested in debating the sexual pleasure aspect of circumcision with them — we all have our causes… have fun with yours. I have posted a silly theory, yet neither of the objections have made a dent in it. Have some fun here. Defend the theory!

  6. In response to Hugh7, note that I am discussing rates of circumcision, not total size of circumcized population, as rates are relevant to the theory that an entire culture was influenced by circumcision. US Americans do not have the same circumcision rates as Jews, do they? If the rates are close, that’s relatlvely recent. It can’t have yet had the kind of cultural impact that it would have had thousands of years ago on a small group. I think this applies to all of the other societies that he mentions.

    Hugh7 says: “By this theory US Americans, who are very largely circumcised, should do better academically than the rest of the English-speaking world, who tried it, found it didn’t do any good, and have pretty much given it up.”

    Actually, if we’re looking at wealth, industriousness, scientific achievement, medical technology breakthroughs, work ethic (hours worked), military power, the US compares favorably to, well, most everyone, as the theory would predict. Maybe it’s because of the high circumcision rate. Those societies that tried it and have given up gave up too soon. It takes generations for the influence to improve a society.

    But the circumcision theory is not the only thing at work. Muslims have had remarkable achievements in science early in their history, clearly due to their high circumcision rate. If more recently there has been less progress of that sort among Muslims, that is clearly the work of other influences and has nothing to do with circumcision.

  7. Great column, Scott. And don’t forget the words of the great 12th century rabbi Moses Maimonides in describing Jewish ritual circumcision: “The bodily injury that is caused to that organ is exactly what is desired . . . . Circumcision simply counteracts excessive lust; for there is no doubt that circumcision weakens the power of sexual excitement, and sometimes lessen the natural enjoyment.” Joke or not, you’re on to something, dude!

  8. Spinoza believed that bris was the crucial detail that had assured Jewish preservation over the millenia. He did not elaborate, but I doubt that he, a gentle and unassuming man, had a theory in mind that was anything like Scott Stein’s piss-take. My take on Spinoza is that he was silently assuming that circumcision made intermarriage with Christians very awkward and hence very rare. I doubt that Spinoza’s mechanism is much relevant any more, given today’s intermarriage rate, and given that the bitterest enemies of the Jews are a thoroughly circumcised community, the Moslems.

    Speaking of the Moslems, they are the reason why Stein’s theory falls flat, even as a joke: 15 centuries of circumcision have NOT produced a Moslem master race. Only one Nobel Prize winner has been a Moslem: Abdus Salaam of Pakistan. The Moslem world was at its brainiest in the first 6 centuries after Mohammed, and that all faded away subsequently.

    I went to college with tons of Jews. They were a horny as the goyim, with fewer hangups, and much more likely to have been raised in household with progressive views on adolescent sex, descended from Freud. Every girl who has told me “shortly after my 16th birthday, my mother asked me if I wanted to be fitted for a diaphragm” was Jewish. Every girl who told me “when I turned 15 my parents took me aside and said ‘what you do in your bedroom from now on is your business.’ ” was Jewish. The only girl who took me by the hand to a sex shop and lingered over the penis picture books, saying “the size of those things is unreal” was Jewish.

    I met only one Jewish kid before college. At the same time, I can recall seeing only 3 uncut weiners before college. Every middle aged guy i saw in a locker room was cut, except when I worked in a steel mill. By your theory, Stein, American should have begun acquiring a brainy edge over uncut Europe and Japan. Well, snipping babies is about the last thing I would do to arrest the ongoing USA decline. GWB is almost surely circumcised, and did that get us anywhere?

  9. This theory is incorrect.

    If you understood the reasons behind circumcision then you would understand that this theory is erroneous.

    The reasons why Jews succeed is the same reason why Hitler said that “Aryans” were superior but twist that around. It is indeed the Semites who were racially “Superior” if you want to look at it like that.

    And that’s why the Semites were eliminated. Anti-Semitism was Orwellian doublespeak that in the sense that the German propaganda machine was telling the Germans the opposite of the truth to destroy what they perceived as a potential albeit paranoid threat against themselves.

    The Scandanavians, having lived millions of years and evolved in a cold, deprived climate, were not able to evolve as much as say the Semites or other nations living near the Meditteranean.

    Why didn’t the Africans evolve then since they lived in Africa? Too hot. Evolution fluorished in the perfect balance of water, fruit trees, and a comfortable temperate climate.

    The first of the lesser evolved nations that were able to attack the Jews successfully were the Greeks and then the Romans, after the Jews had destroyed all their enemies in the East and were weakened militarily.

    After the Romans had assimilated too many nations, the old enemies of the Jews, the Assyrians, conquered the money systems of the unevolved western European nations and thus you had many hundreds of years of the Catholic Church. (Read Zarlenga’s book: “The Lost Science Of Money).

    Once again, from fear and good intentions of preserving the Jewish lineage, the Rabbinate instituted full removal or the prepuce which was beforehand only partial. Physically, this is a catastrophe for the human body, and as Maimonidies states serves to “weaken” the organ.

    However, the Jews were still able to fluorish even with this physical limitation, and the physical incapacitation was irelevant for such a spiritual and evolved people.

    The Americans, descendants of the unevolved, but virtuous nation, hard working people, were subjected en masse to what was only applied before to a small nation. In my opinion, each one is free to do what he wants, but I think that the Goy is not ready for this operation, it requires intense meditative prowess to overcome having the glans bared, especially in stressful situations.

  10. A lot of Jew lodgic and very little good lodgic going on here.

  11. boy are you weird. mutilation of a biological being can never be a “good” thing. the theory ,the attitude and the narcissism stink to high heaven dude. go read some medicine and psychiatry and youll realize that severe trauma can only lead to a troubled psyche not to brilliance of any sort. insulting proponents of non mutilation only diminishes your credibility and shows the attitude of denial and grandiosity. you also claim you know enough about sexual pleasure to claim that mutilation does not harm sensuality. this is identical to a congenitally deaf person claiming to be a musician despite lack of any previous auditory experience. if that isnt moronically flawed an argument, then i dont know what is.
    you are really a shallow and perhaps silly brain. theres not a smidgeon of science in what you claim

  12. I’m very happy with my dick, but if I hadn’t been circumcised it coulda been the best. THANKS DAD. smh

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