Enough with the spitting already
I’m a guy, so I know that sometimes you just have to spit. Sometimes you really do. But what the hell is it with baseball players? Did they always spit this much? I don’t generally watch a lot of baseball and haven’t for years, but I have been watching lately because the Phillies are in the World Series and I live outside Philadelphia. Game 2 last night in Tampa Bay was a bucket-filler — we’re talking a lot of spitting.
And I don’t mean chewing tobacco spit or sunflower seeds, though there was some of that. Most of it just seemed to be good old-fashioned spitting. It was omnipresent. It was hard to focus on the game. My wife and I were too busy asking what the hell the deal was with all the spitting. Every at bat, between every swing, the batter spits. If you were filming a parody, like that scene in The Naked Gun with everyone spitting tobacco at the baseball game, you could hardly have your characters spit any more than the real players were spitting last night.
Why so much spit? Where does it all come from? Is it just some weird cultural tic that baseball players develop through the minor leagues? Does it help them play better? They do know they’re on TV, right? Do they realize how close the camera can zoom and how clear the picture is? Is it possible that players have always spit this much, and it’s just that when I watched baseball when I was younger, I had a small TV, and now I have a larger HD set, so I’m seeing the spit more clearly than years ago? I don’t know. I think I would remember if there were this much spitting back then. We’re talking a lot of spitting.
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Its very true. As a baseball player only in high school I can verify that spitting is as part of baseball as anything. I can barely walk 10 steps without spitting and I definitely can’t urinate without spitting in the urinal at least once.
Let’s not forget all the crotch-grabbing going on as well. Seems to be far more of that than you would reasonably expect to see.
Okay- I’m stuck on that first paragraph. When do you ever absolutely have to spit? I can’t remember the last time I spit. Do women have superior throats? saliva? I don’t get any of it.
And while we’re at it, baseball uniforms got all slouchy & not cute while I wasn’t paying attention (I live 10 blocks from Tropicana Field, so I am obviously paying attention now, whether I care to or not).
Sheesh.
Van,
When you’re playing a game of touch football and you’re coughing up part of your lung because of all the running and you can’t get to a tissue because you don’t have your purse on the field and anyway they’re about to hike the ball and you’re expected to go running down the field any second, but that part of your lung has to come out because it’s preventing you from breathing, so you might just have to spit. Or something.
Scott,
Okay, first of all, I leave my purse at home on flag football day. Second, I bet I can outrun you & still not have to spit. Third, you didn’t explain their pants. You made me laugh, though, nothing new.
V
I’ve been blogging for a long time and arguing with people online for even longer, but this is the first time I’ve been challenged to a foot race.
Well, maybe I was just trying to be a little different.
But you’ve seen my legs, right?
JK