Is battery on a police officer a felony? If so, Jose A. Cruz is in a lot of trouble.

A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer [...] “The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons,” the complaint alleged.

The AP reports that Cruz claims that he didn’t “aim gas at the patrolman.” That’s right — “aim gas.” Like it’s a chemical weapon we’re talking about, some deadly toxin like sarin gas.

Speaking of disgusting bodily functions, sometimes they actually do cause harm. In what is being characterized as a prank, “[p]olice say members of an Arizona State University fraternity vomited milk from a campus bridge and caused a car crash that injured two people.” Throwing (up) projectiles from an overpass to an active roadway is not a prank. It’s a crime.

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